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I was serving in an area shortly after a young woman who was the girlfriend of a member joined the LDS Church. I believe it was our Ward Mission Leader who was very concerned that her “New Member Lessons” would be taught in her home. He wanted her family to know that we did not take people from families. While I am not sure why he felt so serious about the matter, I could speculate that it may have been based in a misconception.
There are times when people who are of age do have to make a decision to join the LDS Church against family wishes. I have known some who have made sacrifices in the short-term until family came around and even in the long run to join the Church or be active if they were raised in a part member family that was hostile to the Church. When possible we do try to respect family members and have appropriate relationships with them.
I was 19 when I was ready to join the Church. I think that I was of age by the rules then, but I was told to ask permission before taking the discussions possibly because I lived at home. Having worked with a lot of members, one of my parents was very open to the idea. The other parent was open but had a condition that I wish she had not said at the time. I had to break her condition down the road as I felt God wanted me to serve a Mission despite my promise not to do so at 19. Over all, my family has been so amazing and supportive to my activities. When they felt I was depressed at one time, they felt that I needed to go to Church as they felt I had been much happier when I was active. They have shown respect in many ways for my callings in my area. There may have been a few times when they wanted me to do more for them than for those in the Church. Yet, they have really taken an interest. One time when I had a couple callings at one time, my parent gave me a planner.
At my last knowledge, I believe that a woman needed her husband’s permission to join the LDS Church if he was not a member. The Church respects the sanctity of marriage. God knows the hearts and desires of a woman who is in this situation. I think he is so mindful of those who are not able to partake all the blessings of membership due to any circumstances that are not in their control. I had a friend whose husband said that he heard that members of our Church were excommunicated if they married a nonmember. She pointed out to him that if that were true that she would have been excommunicated for marrying him as he was a nonmember.
The Church encourages activities that bring families together whether members or nonmembers including Family Reunions. I have an extended family that was very close growing up and had many opportunities to get together. With the passing of grandparents, we don’t not get together as often. But we have so many memories from those times that I think they do give us a closeness even when we don’t see each other.
Well, I may be a novelty to my family at times. But I am loved and suported and that makes a world of difference.
