Respecting Nonmember Family

June 8th, 2008 by bkb

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I was serving in an area shortly after a young woman who was the girlfriend of a member joined the LDS Church. I believe it was our Ward Mission Leader who was very concerned that her “New Member Lessons” would be taught in her home. He wanted her family to know that we did not take people from families. While I am not sure why he felt so serious about the matter, I could speculate that it may have been based in a misconception.

There are times when people who are of age do have to make a decision to join the LDS Church against family wishes. I have known some who have made sacrifices in the short-term until family came around and even in the long run to join the Church or be active if they were raised in a part member family that was hostile to the Church. When possible we do try to respect family members and have appropriate relationships with them.

I was 19 when I was ready to join the Church. I think that I was of age by the rules then, but I was told to ask permission before taking the discussions possibly because I lived at home. Having worked with a lot of members, one of my parents was very open to the idea. The other parent was open but had a condition that I wish she had not said at the time. I had to break her condition down the road as I felt God wanted me to serve a Mission despite my promise not to do so at 19. Over all, my family has been so amazing and supportive to my activities. When they felt I was depressed at one time, they felt that I needed to go to Church as they felt I had been much happier when I was active. They have shown respect in many ways for my callings in my area. There may have been a few times when they wanted me to do more for them than for those in the Church. Yet, they have really taken an interest. One time when I had a couple callings at one time, my parent gave me a planner.

At my last knowledge, I believe that a woman needed her husband’s permission to join the LDS Church if he was not a member. The Church respects the sanctity of marriage. God knows the hearts and desires of a woman who is in this situation. I think he is so mindful of those who are not able to partake all the blessings of membership due to any circumstances that are not in their control. I had a friend whose husband said that he heard that members of our Church were excommunicated if they married a nonmember. She pointed out to him that if that were true that she would have been excommunicated for marrying him as he was a nonmember.

The Church encourages activities that bring families together whether members or nonmembers including Family Reunions. I have an extended family that was very close growing up and had many opportunities to get together. With the passing of grandparents, we don’t not get together as often. But we have so many memories from those times that I think they do give us a closeness even when we don’t see each other.

Well, I may be a novelty to my family at times. But I am loved and suported and that makes a world of difference.

The Kingdoms and Questions

May 28th, 2008 by Helaman

I was reading a post over at Small & Simple and ended up with some of my own questions about the different Kingdoms of Heaven and Perdition.

1. Can anyone be a “Son of Perdition”?

I haven’t found anything concrete about this, but reading the definitions makes it out as if anyone could be one. So why the question? Well I know not every Mormon gets into this mode of thinking, but if we’re taught we are the only church teaching the truth, how could anyone come to a “personal witness of Him [Jesus Christ] from the Holy Ghost1, except someone who is actually taught the truth about him.

What are your thoughts on this?

2. A Testimony of Jesus Christ

One of the requirements to enter into the Celestial Kingdom is to have “received the testimony of Jesus”2. But exactly what kind of testimony is this? We all tend to bear our testimony with a piece that states “Jesus is our Savior”, and for the card carriers, we admit to having a testimony of Jesus Christ. But is this the same kind of testimony that if once we say we do, then deny it have made ourselves a son or daughter of perdition?

I always thought (and was probably taught some where down the road) that heaven would have to be opened to you, you would have to have a perfect knowledge or understanding of Jesus Christ3.

I believe the answer is held in part in [D&C 76:10], “For by my aSpirit will I benlighten them, and by my cpower will I make known unto them the dsecrets of my ewill—yea, even those things which feye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man”. Which seems to be more then just the basic testimony.

But…(don’t you love it)

The Iron Rod asked the same question, and came up with a different idea on this subject, one which takes from the King Follett sermon.

All sins shall be forgiven, except the sin against the Holy Ghost; for Jesus will save all except the sons of perdition. What must a man do to commit the unpardonable sin? He must receive the Holy Ghost, have the heavens opened unto him, and know God, and then sin against him. After a man has sinned against the Holy Ghost, there is no repentance for him. He has got to say that the sun does not shine while he sees it; he has got to deny Jesus Christ when the heavens have been opened unto him, and to deny the plan of salvation with his eyes open to the truth of it; and from that time he begins to be an enemy. This is the case with many apostates of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints4.

[emphasis added]

I guess that does change it, I knew I remembered something else from a Gospel Doctrine class a few years back, and that’s why I use the term Sons and Daughters or Perdition. So it looks like it’s very possible for anyone of us to become one, which is a sobering thought.

What are your thoughts?

3. Are the Kingdoms more personal then grouping everyone into 3?

This question relies heavily on [John 14:2], ” In my Father’s ahouse are many bmansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” [empahsis added] and [1 Cor 15:41], ” There is one glory of the asun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the bstars: for one star cdiffereth from another star in dglory.” [emphasis added]. Also by reading [D&C 131:1-4] you find that there are 3 degrees within the Celestial kingdom.

I think this goes a long way in showing exactly how much Heavenly Father loves us and wants us all to return to him. I also know as nice as it sounds, it’s also hard. I can sit here and say anything I want and make it look like I’m a perfect little angel, but that’s not the case. God understands this and Jesus takes the cases one by one.

See this is yet another one of those connected reasons I love. In Fatherhood (Parenthood), you can see the process on a lower level. I have 3 kids, and each one is different. They respond differently to punishments, love, and fun. I cannot (even though I do sometimes) use the same reasoning on each one. One of my children obeys very well, one does not, and one sort of does. Like how each one of us will be “will be judged according to our works, according to the desire of our hearts “[D&C 137:7–9].

What is your take on this?

  1. Son Of Perdition - Wikipedia
  2. Kingdoms of Glory (Additional Info) - Gospel Topics
  3. Son of Perdition - Wikipedia
  4. King Follett Discourse Part 2

Dedicating Our Home

May 25th, 2008 by Helaman

Recently, it seems my mind has been opened, and I’ve felt new needs. Today was no exception. We got on the topic of dedicating our homes.

I quickly picked up on that and it occurred to me, that even though we’d been in our home for nearly 2 years I don’t think it’s ever been dedicated. It may have been blessed by my wife’s father, but I had not taken up the yoke of my Priesthood responsibility to do so. Like I said, recently things have changed for me, call it a spiritual awakening, or a spiritual maturity - either way I feel very strongly that our home needs a change.

I love it [The Gospel], and let me put it in context of why I’m saying it right now. Our home has some issues - I mean that in our family. There’s something missing, and I think it goes along with how we treat each other and, well, the lack of family unity we experience occasionally. If I notice this, then I know my wife’s felt it a lot longer. But I believe this is why I picked up on the idea of dedicating our home so quickly. I knew I wanted to do it and I felt like it would actually be a great topic to write about too.

So I do what I always do when I want to talk about something, I visit lds.org and see what has been written on the subject. I did a simple search, “dedicate our home”.

The dedication of our home brought about a change of heart in our family.1

That was the first line of the first item listed in the return of my search. Could it be any more connected, or in tune? I know that was a long way round in explaining one of the reasons I love the Gospel, but I just wanted to express it.

I’m actually glad that I ran across this article. It sums up exactly how I feel about what a home should be. The couple who wrote the article give a perfect example (which is one of my reasons too.)

We wanted to have the Spirit of God dwell in our home to help us shape the lives of our daughters.2

Of course for us, it’s not all daughters but sons and daughter and so the level of craziness can get high pretty fast. But this is something I want my family to have. I want a sanctuary, a “sacred edifice where the Holy Spirit may reside” 3.

The couple who wrote the article weren’t aware that you could dedicate your home. I feel that if we [men] take up the call and magnify our Priesthood that this is just one more piece to having a more spiritual family, and bringing our families closer to Christ. Not to mention all the side effects this can have that we might not even think of.

We discussed as a family that my wife and I thought it to be a great idea and something that we needed to do to help our family. We also explained that we would take the opportunity to straighten the house and perform it in the morning. I’m rather excited to be able to share my faith and testimony with my children so they can see how personal the Priesthood can be and how it can be applied to their lives. As my boys grow and gain the Priesthood themselves I want them to know how to magnify it, and my daughter should expect her spouse to be an active magnifier (is that a word?).

I’ll take just a quick moment to express my testimony that the strength of a family spiritually is so important in these days, to be a stronghold against the coming storms. It’s so important to keep active in building up the family and dedicate it [the family] to the Lord, so that His strength and Spirit is an active part of it.

  1. Bless This House - Ensign 1989
  2. Bless This House - Ensign 1989
  3. Melchizedek Priesthood Handbook

Take Another Look

May 22nd, 2008 by bkb

We have probably all heard the importance of first impressions. We have also been told “not to judge a book by its cover.”

And yet, it can be so refreshing when we meet someone who is not as they seem at first.

My first two semesters of College, I took Spanish. I don’t remember if Deb(name changed) was in my first or second semester class. I formed bonds with classmates in this class that was not typical of a lot of courses at a large University. The class size was smaller and being a five credit course, we met five days a week.  There was one person in the class who did not blend as well. Once she was going on the elevator and somebody said something questioning whether she would tell us if she heard class were canceled. I am not sure if it was then or later that I made a statement that was basically saying that she may be cool. As time went on, we came to know her more. She was someone who could get a job based on winning over the interviewer but not keep a job. She was very interesting. She wrote poetry. I don’t think I had written down any poems at this point. As time went on, I think she gained the respect of other classmates.

At Church, I met a woman who seemed so stern and proper in front of Church leading music each Sunday. While I had already had experience with my friend from Spanish, I think that I expected her to be very reserved and formal in person. As she lived near me, it was arranged for me to car pool with her and often her husband. I learned that she had a sense of humor. One time she told me that she was listening to classical music and driving in a neighborhood rather erratically only to be pulled over by a police officer. The officer knew her, if I recollect correctly and was embarrassed as things were not as they seemed. This friend and her husband had been converts to the Church many years before. Her husband had important callings in the Stake.

This sister was my first visiting teacher upon my return home from my mission. I recall how misty her eyes were when we visited a sister in a nursing home who could not communicate due to a stroke. As the impaired sister tried to form an audible word, it seemed almost too much for my companion. I do not know if she knew this woman when she was well. The sister we were visiting had been one of the Pioneer members in my area so they probably did have a history.

My visiting teaching companion had some tragedies strike her daughter’s family. Her grandson was in a nursing home and I think in a vegetative stake. She said that God had a purpose for him. She also lost a granddaughter to suicide and seemed to be at peace that she was in a better place.

When I started struggling with a condition, her concern for me was hard to take. It was the type of care that a parent or grandparent has. Of course, I want people to care. I just did not want her to feel so close to my problems. She said that they would color every part of my life if they were not brought under control. Her words probably were already so true. Years have come and gone and she has passed away. And I would hope that she would see that I am in a much happier place now.

Once I was with her in what I think was an impromptu visit to a married couple who I think were mildly mentally retarded. They were a nice couple, but the husband had a very strong personality. The sister had such determination and would read the scriptures that were cross referenced from what I was told by another sister, which considering her intellectual impairment was quite an inspiration. I think the sister had been sick but I do not believe they were in our ward. My friend from Church seemed as comfortable with them and their eccentric ways as everybody. I recall her also taking a sister with mental illness and a very flat personality from time to time. I do not recall her ever making an unkind remark about either.

But what I remember often about my friend is the words of another friend who she and her husband had employed to do yard work. She said that she was surprised that she laughed from the belly.

Increasing Prayer

May 19th, 2008 by Helaman

When I was younger, I hated long prayers. There were certain individuals that I dreaded hearing it would be them praying. That usually meant a long winded prayer full of things I didn’t really care about - I just wanted to get on, whether it be to eat or play something.

As I’ve grown and matured in the gospel, I’ve come to understand the power that prayer can have and what it is there for. While I’ll admit I don’t know it all, I do want to talk about it.

The answer is simple, even if the question is hard. How often should we pray? Why is that a hard question, well it’s given right in the answer.

“Pray always lest that wicked one have power in you…” [D&C 98:49]

Spencer W. KimballIn my youth, I found that when I got into trouble it was because I was bored and felt I had nothing to do. At one time it was fire. I can remember distinctly sitting in our family’s basement laundry room messing around with various chemicals and solutions that were stored there. I decided it would be fun to see how they would effect a fire. So I lit a paper bag on fire and began to add those chemicals and solutions. In no time, I had a bit of a problem, the fire got out of my control. Luckily, I was able to put it out and clean up the mess, but it illustrates what can happen.  Spencer W. Kimball said “I have observed that sin generally comes when communication lines are down.” 1

Luckily I have done a lot of growing since those days, and have learned that my best bet is to try and keep my communication lines open.

Increasing your prayers is the best way to do this.

Now that I have a family, it becomes even more important.  It’s such a blessing to see my young children wanting to pray. I feel that it is very important to have a family that prays together.

Nephi said “Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed.” [Nephi 18:21]

As a parent, I want to ensure my family is blessed, that they are watched over during the time I’m not at home. I know it can be a struggle on occasion to include them in prayer, but giving in or not praying is not the answer.

I’ve been very proud of our children, I’ve gone through the rounds of getting them ready for bed and have come across them praying on their own, in their rooms thinking no one was looking. I can see that our consistent commitment to prayer has paid off and our children are gaining an understanding of prayer. They have even explained to us, how they have used prayer to help locate various items they think are lost or how it has helped them to overcome a frightening or scary experience.

Family prayer is also a great way to help children gain a firmer foundation in the gospel, by they’re own experiences with prayer. What better way to help them gird up their loins against the increasing influence of Satan.

As the title suggests, by increasing our prayers, we can accomplish so much in the world. We must remember though, in all things, our thanks belong to God. [D&C 59:7]. Prayer isn’t only about asking, but it also about thanking. Expressing our gratitude for all the blessings we do have. This is another practice we have implemented in our family prayers, and one that should be included in each of our personal prayers. Even though there are times when I get caught up in what I don’t have, I try to remember all the things I do have.

I have gained a testimony of prayer through the continual use and practice. There have been times when I have had important decisions to make and needed the guidance of the Lord. There have also been moments when I have needed express help due to an emergency or other threatening situation.

There is so much to gain from praying with nothing to lose. It’s such a win win situation. By merely speaking to our Father we can travel the right path and find comfort.

  1. First Presidency Message - Pray Always