I wrote this as an email to my mission president the other night and he asked that I share it on our mission’s Facebook wall. I decided to turn it into a blogpost (but have removed the names for privacy).

The church leaders have encouraged us to stay in touch with our converts. This is a wonderful experience that I had the other day and an example of the long-term blessings from serving a mission.

It took almost 11 years but tonight I finally feel like my mission was worth it, and that the Ohio Cleveland mission was where I was meant to serve.

In Ohio I was lucky to teach and witness the conversions of quite a few people. A quick count is something like 11 individuals. While I never actually performed a baptism – either a family member performed the baptism or I usually let my companion, either because he was senior or I wanted to let the junior companion have the experience – I was able to teach these people. Each one was a great experience.

Of those 11 I remember, just four were adults. I worked mostly with part-member or less-active families and seeking out inactive members.

In these last 10+ years I have frequently wondered how the children we taught were doing. Are they active still? Are their parents still active (which usually leads the kids to remaining active or not)? Where are they now?

The other day I was going through my Facebook photo albums and tagging some Elders that I have recently reconnected with via Facebook. Then I decided to try some of the kids — after all, which kid isn’t on Facebook!?

When I was training Elder Cameron Comerford of Show Low, AZ in Barberton we taught two unbaptized sisters, ages 9 and 8. Two unbaptized sisters with a semi-active (I think) father. I barely remember teaching these girls but I have a few impressions of being in their home.

From what I recall we were asked to drop by and teach his girls. Gladly!! We taught them, they listened intently. We answered a few 9-year-old questions, and they were on the fast track for baptism. I was transferred to Cleveland proper in June of 2000 and both girls were baptized by Elder Comerford shortly after my transfer. All I have from that experience is one impression in my memory and a photo of the girls with Elder Comerford at their baptism (above).

Children of semi-active families who get baptized do not tend to have a good track record for staying active in the church and the fact that I worked mostly with children who fit this mold has bothered me in the last decade.

On top of that my patriarchal blessing has a healthy section about my full-time mission. In particular, one line states: “you will teach them in their language and bear testimony to them in a way that they will accept your testimony as truth.” This line always made me a little depressed because I served an English-speaking mission. I sort of believe the Mormon maxim that you get called to the exact mission you are needed to serve in, but that line in my blessing kept haunting me, especially since I worked mostly with American, English-speaking children.

Tuesday I can honestly say that the fulfillment of that part of my blessing was made evident – without ever learning a foreign language.

Back to Facebook.

I searched for the two girls and found them! The oldest is a student at BYU-ID and her sister is a student at BYU-HI. I was so happy to see they are both still active in the church. I felt like Alma when he was reunited with the sons of Mosiah as missionaries: “and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth (Alma 17:2)”

Both wrote me wonderful messages tonight. I’d like to share them with you:

From the oldest (was 9):
“I REMEMBER YOUUUUU!!!!! that is so awesome you found me because i was wondering about the missionaries that got to baptize me and if they’re married and if they have children and what they’re up to now and i remember one night i googled my name and my baptism picture came up!!!! i am so glad you found me! it just made my night! i love you elders and i love the gospel so much…thank you for baptizing me ”

From the youngest (was 8):
“This is soooooooo cool!!! Yeah I’m active in the church and I go to BYU-Hawaii. You have really blessed my life! Thank you!!“

The girls are now 19 and 20.

Those two sweet messages made the entire two years well worth it.

The gospel is great. We are so lucky.

We live in a day of “wars [and] rumors of wars, and earthquakes in divers places.^” As prophesied, “the whole earth [is] in commotion” and “Satan is abroad in the land.” He seeks to destroy all that is good and righteous. He is Lucifer, who was cast out of the presence of God.

While alone, this quote is enough to get anyone paying attention a little nervous with all that is going on. We can let those sentences get the best of us, and at times I have – but we should be paying more attention to the next sentence of Elder Packer’s statement more so than the first four:

Against all of that, we have very positive feelings about what lies ahead.

Luckily a good friend of mine @LDSGuy has been paying better attention, not to mention we had been discussing if there would ever be missionaries in Egypt. I got a text message the other night from him, telling me to go look up sign #48. It has been awhile since I read 65 Signs of the Times and couldn’t remember what it was, so I was pretty excited to see what it was about. I will let him add the remainder of this post:

The way I figure it, either 1. the fullness of the gospel will be taken into Egypt, missionaries will be welcome, a temple will be built, the Egyptian people will enjoy the blessings of eternal marriage and being sealed to their families for eternity, or 2. the Muslim extremists in that region will take over and align themselves with other extremist groups in the region and attack a common enemy—Israel. Both seem plausible. Of course both could happen, with the latter occurring before the former.

Somewhere deep inside my mind I seem to recall scriptures mentioning something about Egypt’s role in the last days and what their status will be with respect to the gospel, but I was not able to locate any.

That is until I came across my copy of David Ridges’ book 65 Signs of the Times Leading up to the Second Coming and started thumbing through it that night. Lo! and behold there it was on page 127 and continuing over onto page 128. The answers to Egypt’s status in the last days was given to us eight centuries prior to Christ’s birth by the prophet Isaiah (Esaias in the New Testament Greek). I’m going to copy Brother Ridge’s explanatory notes (in italicize brackets) in these verses to help illustrate his views on this topic.

18 In that day [the last days] shall five [several] cities in the land of Egypt speak the language of Canaan [Israel; a prophecy of greatly improved relationship between Egypt and Judah in the last days], and swear to the Lord of hosts [make covenants with Jesus Christ, implying that they will have the true gospel]; one shall be called, The city of destruction [not a good translation; could be "city of the sun"].

19 In that day [the last days] shall there be an altar [a temple; in a temple] to the Lord in the midst of the land of Egypt, and a pillar [symbolic of a temple—see Revelation 3:12] at the border thereof to the Lord.

20 And it [the altar and the pillar] shall be for a sign and for a witness [reminder] unto [of] the Lord of hosts in the land of Egypt: for they [Egyptians] shall cry [pray] unto the Lord because of the oppressors, and he shall send them a saviour, and a great one, and he shall deliver them.

21 And the Lord shall be known to Egypt, and the Egyptians shall know the Lord in that day [the last days], and shall do sacrifice [see 3 Nephi 9:20; broken heart and contrite spirit] and oblation [see D&C 59:12]; yea, they shall vow a vow [make covenants] unto the Lord, and perform it [and will be faithful to them].

Here the author points out the fact that often times the Lord has to humble a group of people, and then save them for peril before they will listen to Him.

22 And the Lord shall smite Egypt: he shall smite and heal it [first humble it, then heal it]: and they shall return even to the Lord [the Egyptians will hear and live the gospel], and he shall be intreated [prayed to] of [by] them, and shall heal them [wonderful blessings are in store for Egypt].

Isaiah 19:18-22

After looking at this source further it seems to me that dark days still lie ahead for Egypt; however, the distant future will be a bright new dawn, full of gospel truths and saving ordinances.

Another excellent source I love to turn to when studying Isaiah is David R. Minert’s book Simplified Isaiah for the Latter-day Saints.

In covering Isaiah, Brother Minert does a remarkable job explaining Isaiah in simplified, modern terminology. Brother Minert consulted at least 12 different sources on Isaiah before coming up with his narrative of each verse in Isaiah.

In his book he covers chapter 19 by explaining details that have yet to happen for Egypt. These include, civil war (v. 2), a cruel king/leader (v. 4 – in my opinion this has yet to occur), all the water sources including the Nile river will dry up, plant life and the entire Egyptian economy will suffer as a result (vs. 5-10), the Egyptians will be fearful of even the mention of Israel (v. 17), eventually relations between Egypt and Israel will improve (v. 18), the gospel will be taught to Egyptians, a temple will be built (vs. 19-22), there will be an Arab alliance between Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Syria (v. 23), and surprisingly Israel will join this alliance (v. 24).

Obviously a lot of the things listed by Isaiah seem unlikely or far-fetched given Egypt’s current status, but then again remember how few people could have imagined that a) the end of the Cold War would occur almost overnight in 1989, or b) the gospel would be preached in eight Russian missions (count as of today), or even that c) an LDS temple would be built in a communist country prior to the end of the Cold War. Clearly, the Lord’s purposes continue to go forth, despite the status of the world’s problems.

I firmly believe that by-and-by all of the concrete prophecies of the prophets will be fulfilled, meaning the ones that do not have conditions attached to them. If a prophet says “in the last days Egypt will have a temple” it will come to pass. However, if a prophet says “in the last days Egypt will have a temple if they do not align themselves with {insert foreign troublemaker here}” and Egypt still aligns themselves with that country then of course they will not receive a temple. In the verses outlined above by Isaiah the prophecies of the future of Egypt all seem pretty concrete to me.

It will be interesting to watch and see how this current Egyptian unrest unfolds, but if I had to guess where we are with regards to the status of Egypt and her future, I’d start at the beginning of the chapter (v. 2)—with a lot of terrible and exciting things ahead for the Egyptians. My personal take on the current murky future of Egypt combined with verse four is that the near future will bring some sort of extreme regime that will NOT be friendly to the United States or Israel, that will possibly attempt to or be successful in instigating Shariah Law throughout Egypt, thus restricting the freedoms of those people who are currently calling for freedoms, and serve as a “cruel lord” over the Egyptian people. It may get dark before it gets bright, but Isaiah has promised the Egyptian people that one day prior to the Lord’s Second Coming the restored gospel will flourish in the Land of the Pharaohs and that the saving ordinances of the gospel will be administered to the Egyptians by the Egyptian saints. It may seem distant, but it could very well all happen within the next 5-10 years.

This missionary experience recently occurred to three Elders serving in my city. I learned of this experience through my bishop and it has been posted on our mission’s blog. The original was a letter from one missionary to President Albright. I have copied it as I received it. The bolding is mine for emphasis.

Dear President Albright,

Elder Davie, Elder Harper, and I were at church on Sunday two weeks ago. As we prepared to walk into the Mt. Vernon Ward sacrament meeting, a recent convert named Patrick Onoche, a Ghanaian, approached us with another man, also from Ghana. Patrick introduced us to the man as his uncle. As we discussed the gospel with this visitor, we discovered that he is actually a Prince from Ghana’s Ashanti Tribe. His name is Oheneba [Prince] Osa Kyme. Here are the interesting facts about this prince: The Ashanti Tribe, with over 3 million members, is the largest and most powerful tribe in Ghana. He and his family are the actual caretakers for the numerous idols and shrines owned by the King of the Ashanti. He was born into royalty and it has been his life-long duty to protect the King’s shrines and idols. He is now about 75 years old. He showed us photos of the idols and the King with his family. His passport also confirmed that he was a tribal leader.

Last month he was asked by the King of the Ashanti to come to America to purchase a new idol from the gold dealers and craftsmen in New York City. As he arrived at the meeting in New York to acquire the new items, he heard a voice tell him that “you will not find salvation by worshipping [sic] these idols.”

As he pondered on the words that had come into his mind, he remembered the warm and sacred feelings he had experienced when he had driven past the LDS Temple in Accra, Ghana. He recalled feeling that our Temple was a sacred and a holy place. He then remembered that his nephew Patrick Onoche had joined the LDS Church in Virginia last year (baptized by Elder Doman) so rather than continuing on with his meetings with the gold dealers, he felt a strong desire to fly to Virginia where he met with Patrick. Patrick immediately taught his uncle about the restoration of the gospel and brought him to attend Sacrament meeting the next day where we met him. After he came to church and learned more about the gospel he told us that he wanted to be baptized and that he would not return to Ghana until he was a member of the true Church.

We met with him every day last week to make sure he fully understood the covenants he will be making with God before he returns to his homeland. After he attended church for two weeks we held a special baptism for him on Jan. 9, 2011, just three days before he flew home to Ghana. He delayed his flight for several days to accommodate the instructions you provided that he attend church for at least two weeks before his baptism. Oheneba intends on resigning from his royal position as caretaker of the King’s idols upon returning home, so he can spread the Gospel among his people. We tried to persuade him that maybe he should just care for the idols as a custodian but not worship them. However, he was adamant that he wants to spread the gospel and give up his leadership position with the Ashanti Tribe. He said he was willing to give up all his possessions to become a member of Christ’s true church because he is more worried about his family’s salvation than property.

President, it has truly been a blessing to meet Oheneba and teach him the gospel with the help of Elder Davie and Elder Harper. Thank you for coming to help teach him and baptize him. We have already heard from Oheneba that the elders in Ghana have made contact with him.

Ofa atu,

Elder Ta’ufo’ou

What a remarkable story. It reminds me of King Lamoni’s father from the Book of Mormon – who was willing to give up his entire (and probably lengthy) previous life just for the truthfulness of the Gospel when he heard it preached from Aaron:

Behold, said he, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy (See Alma Chapter 22).

Ladies and gentlemen, the fullness of Christ’s gospel, including the priesthood power, temple blessings, and all the rites and ordinances necessary for salvation, has been restored to the earth in these latter-days. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only church on the face of the earth that embodies the fullness of these blessings. That I know for certain. It is very heartwarming to see the message of the Restoration spread throughout the entire world – even among the nobles in foreign countries.

If you or someone you know has questions regarding the LDS church, feel free to ask representatives who will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.

Eternal Family

This is the talk I was asked to give on the family – there might be some mistakes because I was editing it right before I gave it…lol. Also not long before church was to being, I was informed that one of the speakers wasn’t going to be there so I needed to speak for about 20 minutes – I’ve never spoken for that long before and had to bulk up my talk quickly…

I want to tell you a story about my parents.

I t takes place some years ago when they met each other and fell in love. They decided to start a family, but were later devastated when their first born daughter died only hours after being born. Out of her death grew a desire to find answers to why their baby had been taken from their lives and would they ever see her again.

This desire led to searching through different religions, trying to find one that answered their questions about families, and what happens after they die and how to stop the pain of death that still pulled at their heart strings.

About 6 years and another child later while being stationed in the Philippines, my parents were getting ready for the arrival of another child. They were introduced to a pair of special young men who taught them the concepts of eternal marriage and families. These were concepts that had troubled my mother constantly since she had lost her first child. Learning about the plan of salvation and eternal families was a miracle for my mother.

While this didn’t completely take away her pain, it did bring her comfort and knowledge that she would be united with the daughter she lost.  In later years they would go through the same trial again when another one of their daughters died.  This time though they knew about eternal families and had the peace that their family would one day be reunited again.

My parents joined the church not long after I was born, and soon after that we traveled to Salt Lake City and along with my older sister we were sealed together for time and all eternity.

While this story of mine might not be unique it highlights something important, even though my parents were not members of the church, family was very important to them and is what brought them to find the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Russell  M. Nelson said in a March issue of the Ensign,

“Also pivotal to God’s plan is the family. In fact, a purpose of the plan is to exalt the family. The earth was created so that we as premortal spirit children of our Father in Heaven could come to the earth and obtain physical bodies. We are here to be tried and tested. We are here to “choose liberty and eternal life, . . . or to choose captivity and death”. And best of all, we are allowed to fall in love, to be married, and to invite children into our families.”

But why is the family so important? Why does our church put so much emphasis on having a family?

On a whim I did a search for Jesus on the church’s web site – I just wanted to see how many results came back and there were over 24 thousand. The next search I did was for Family- this came back with over 27 thousand results. This would seem to indicate that family is an important factor in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the November 1982 Ensign, President Ezra Taft Benson, explained in a talk titled “Fundamentals of Enduring Family Relationships”

He says…

“Today we are aware of great problems in our society. The most obvious are sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, drug abuse, alcoholism, vandalism, pornography, and violence.

These grave problems are symptoms of failure in the home—the disregarding of principles and practices established by God in the very beginning. “

In his talk he lists three fundamentals for a happy, enduring  family relationship, and this is the backbone of my talk today.

1. 1. A husband and wife must attain righteous unity and oneness in their goals, desires, and actions.

In Genesis 2:24 [Gen. 2:24] we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

In an Ensign article from Matthew O. Richardson he breaks down that verse and uses the words of prophets and other leaders to explain it.

Leaving – President Spencer W. Kimball taught that “couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side. President Kimball counseled, “Parents who hold, direct, and dictate to their married children and draw them away from their spouses are likely to regret the possible tragedy.” Some may wonder what possible “tragedy” awaits such couples. While it could be something as severe as divorce, perhaps the real tragedy is forfeiting a form of marriage the couple might have had, had they only enjoyed the opportunity to leave appropriately.

Cleaving – The term cleave, as used in Genesis, is derived from the Hebrew dawbak, meaning “cling, adhere, stick, catch by pursuit” or “follow close.” When the Savior speaks of cleaving to one’s wife in Matthew 19:5 [Matt. 19:5], the source word of cleave is from the Greek poskallah, meaning “glue or join.” By scriptural definition, then, we find that God expects us to “cling” to our spouse or to “stick” with him or her. But it should also be understood that this is not a one-time event but a condition that lasts throughout a couple’s marriage. President Hinckley has taught on several occasions that one’s spouse should be treated in special regard. He said that a husband should regard his wife “as the greatest treasure of his life.” In Matthew 6:21 [Matt. 6:21] we read, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (see also 3 Ne. 13:21).

Becoming One – Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “it takes two—a man and a woman—to form a whole.” Unity in marriage is not achieved simply by kneeling at an altar and accepting a spouse. It requires effort for a couple to become one. Marital unity doesn’t mean that spouses agree on everything. It also doesn’t mean they have to spend every minute of every day together, think the same thoughts, and order the same meal at restaurants. Rather than relying on our interpretation of what “one flesh” means in marriage, it would be well to consider this divine concept as taught in the scriptures.

One Flesh – Paul taught the concept of unity to the Corinthians by using the body as an illustration. “For the body is not one member, but many” (1 Cor. 12:14). Paul taught that in spite of obvious differences in the various parts of the body, “the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you” (1 Cor. 12:21). In summary, he taught “that there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another” (1 Cor. 12:25). It is easy to see the application of this metaphor to marriage. Neither spouse is more important than the other. Undoubtedly, individuals bring varying talents into their marriage, just as they each have differing roles, tasks, and functions. But using Paul’s perspective, one can say, “For marriage is not one member, but two. And the husband cannot say unto the wife, I have no need of thee: nor the wife again to the husband, I have no need of thee.” We may likewise conclude that there should be no schism in marriage but that husband and wife should have the same care one for another. To create such a relationship, President Kimball suggested, couples should realize that “each must accept literally and fully that the good of the little new family must always be superior to the good of either spouse.”

My wife and I have been married for 11 years now. We’ve had our struggles, but we’ve started realizing that where we want to be is going to take a combined effort and only if we’re on the same team. This applies to all facets of marriage.

In our marriage we realize that sometimes we are not on the same wavelength or path, and as a result things become tougher than they really should. But we find that when we are united on a common goal, it’s much easier to work towards it and overcome it.

President Benson also mentions that

“Fidelity to one’s marriage vows is absolutely essential for love, trust, and peace. Adultery is unequivocally condemned by the Lord.

Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated. This love will provide a nurturing atmosphere for the emotional growth of children. Family life should be a time of happiness and joy that children can look back on with fond memories and associations”

What are some the messages that we are being bombarded with through TV, movies and books? What has been presented as the norm?

Among other things, it’s that berating, degrading, and demeaning our spouses and children is fair game, and usually humorous to our friends and colleagues.

Some time ago, when we were first married and my wife still worked, she would come home upset and disgusted by what her coworkers would talk about when there was time to sit around and chat. They would get together and talk about their spouses in degrading ways, and often left her wondering why they were even married.

But here’s the question for us as Latter Day Saints, would we talk about our eternal spouse that way? The person that we are suppose love with all our heart, do they deserve that type of infidelity? Are we vigilant in what we say and do when it comes to our families?

President Spencer W. Kimbal l said that we should have “total fidelity in marriage” and to me that means in all aspects of it, not just physically but in our behavior and how we speak about our spouses and families.

1. 2. Nurture your children with love and the admonitions of the Lord.

I’m glad President Benson says “Rearing happy, peaceful children is no easy challenge in today’s world”, and I’m sure some of you know this first hand. But he does go on to say that it can and is being done, so there is hope.

President Benson also says “Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best.”

M. Russell Ballard gives 5 ideas for how to gain that happy and enduring family:

1. Full and equal partnerships. Men and women joined together in marriage need to work together as a full partnership. However, a full and equal partnership between men and women does not imply the roles played by the two sexes are the same in God’s grand design for His children. As the proclamation clearly states, men and women, though spiritually equal, are entrusted with different but equally significant roles. These roles complement each other. Men are given stewardship over the sacred ordinances of the priesthood. To women, God gives stewardship over bestowing and nurturing mortal life, including providing physical bodies for God’s spirit children and guiding those children toward a knowledge of gospel truths. These stewardships, equally sacred and important, do not involve any false ideas about domination or subordination. Each stewardship is essential for the spiritual progression of all family members, parents and children alike.

Family stewardships thus must be understood in terms of obligations and responsibilities—and in terms of love, service, and interdependence. Men who attempt to dominate their wives, who seek to exercise unrighteous dominion without regard to spousal counsel and sensitivities, simply don’t understand that such actions are contrary to God’s will.

2. Fathers. The proclamation states, “Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” They teach their families the gospel and lead in kindness, following the counsel found in section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants (see D&C 121:34–36).

Fathers perform priesthood ordinances and give priesthood blessings, including father’s blessings to their children. They pray for and with family members, collectively and individually. They set an example of respect and love for their eternal companion and mother of their children. In all things they follow the example of the Savior and strive to be worthy of His name and His blessing. Fathers should seek constantly for guidance from the Holy Ghost so they will know what to do, what to say, and also know what not to do and what not to say. They serve the family and the Church in the spirit of love and enthusiasm, by example preparing family members to serve—especially preparing sons to serve as worthy missionaries.

3. Mothers. The proclamation teaches that “mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” Nurturing refers to parenting behaviors such as warmth, support, bonding, attachment, recognizing each child’s unique abilities, and attending to children’s needs. Nurturing in and of itself is more important in the development of a child than is any particular method or technique of child rearing. It hardly needs saying that nurturing is best carried out in a stable, safe, family context.

A mother’s nurturing love arouses in children, from their earliest days on earth, an awakening of the memories of love and goodness they experienced in their premortal existence. Because our mothers love us, we learn, or more accurately remember, that God also loves us.

Today there is significant pressure in our materialistic world to have and spend more money. Unfortunately, this draws married mothers to work outside the home in order to provide a second income. As husbands, wives, and children recognize the difference between basic necessities and material wants, they lessen family financial burdens and contribute to helping mothers be at home. Decisions about working outside the home are difficult ones and need to be made prayerfully, keeping ever in mind the counsel of the living prophets on this complex issue.

4. Principles for marriage and families. From the proclamation we learn that “successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” Parents should work to create loving, eternal connections with their children. Reproof or correction will sometimes be required. But it must be done sensitively, persuasively, with an increase of love thereafter lest the child esteem the parent to be an enemy (see D&C 121:43).

It can be equally destructive when parents are too permissive and overindulge their children, allowing children to do as they please. Parents need to set limits in accordance with the importance of the matter involved and the child’s disposition and maturity. Help children understand the reasons for rules, and always follow through with appropriate discipline when rules are broken. It is important as well to praise appropriate behavior. It will challenge all of your creativity and patience to maintain this balance, but the rewards will be great. Children who understand their boundaries through the consistent application of important rules are more likely to do well at school, to be more self-controlled, and to be more willing to abide by the laws of the land.

5. Family councils. As you would expect to hear from me, one of the best tools we have as parents is the family council. I cannot emphasize enough its importance in helping to understand and address challenges in the family. When members of one family began to feel unusual contention invading their home, they called a family council to discuss the situation. The father and then the mother explained to their children what they had observed and asked how each felt about it. The mother and father learned that since their two oldest children had left home, one to be married and one to go to college, an unfair burden of responsibility had been unwittingly shifted to the two oldest children remaining at home, and they were becoming resentful. By counseling together and listening to what their children were feeling, the family made a more equitable distribution of responsibility among the children, resolving much of the frustration and tension in the home.

I recognize that there are as many kinds of family councils as there are different kinds of families. Family councils can consist of one parent and one child, of two parents and several children, of just two parents, or of just siblings, and so on. Regardless of the size or makeup of the family council, what really matters are loving motivation, an atmosphere that encourages free and open discussion, and a willingness to listen to the honest input of all council members—as well as to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.

My wife and I both agree that letting our children know that they are loved is one of the most important aspects in raising our children. While we don’t know everything, we do know that if children don’t find love in their homes they will try to find it anywhere they can, which can lead to sadness and sorrow.

While I struggle with my kids at times, luckily I have a wonderful wife who helps me remember what the goal is and how to try and reach it.

In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” it says

“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

With children in school and then homework, how much quality time is left during the day to spend with our children? Are we doing all we can to help them learn and understand the gospel and feel loved? I know this is an area where I can do better – but luckily my wife has done a great job, and my kids love listening to gospel stories and learning about the gospel.

As our children have grown and our lives have become more hectic spending quality time together get’s harder – I’m sure some family’s have even more trouble finding time when everyone is at home together.

Some years ago, when we were living in Logan I had to commute to my job – at one point I was driving for about 2 hours each way to work. That left little time for the family. But through different circumstances– the Lord has blessed my family with me working only 10 minutes away and having a lot more time together. Along with Family Home evening, we try to have an additional game night per week, and we try to have dinner together every night so we can talk about our day to each other.

1. 3. Parents must prepare their children for the ordinances of the gospel.

President Benson says

“The most important teachings in the home are spiritual. Parents are commanded to prepare their sons and daughters for the ordinances of the gospel: baptism, confirmation, priesthood ordinations, and temple marriage. They are to teach them to respect and honor the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Most importantly, parents are to instill within their children a desire for eternal life and to earnestly seek that goal above all else.

Eternal life may be obtained only by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel.

When parents themselves have complied with the ordinances of salvation, when they have set the example of a temple marriage, not only is their own marriage more likely to succeed, but their children are far more likely to follow their example.

Parents who provide such a home will have, as the Lord has said, “a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, … a house of order, a house of God.” (D&C 88:119.) Regardless of how modest or humble that home may be, it will have love, happiness, peace, and joy. Children will grow up in righteousness and truth and will desire to serve the Lord.”

In a few months Ethan will be 8 years old and in another 9 months after that Alexander will be old enough to receive the Aaronic Priesthood. I am grateful that I am worthy enough to participate in these ordinances with them and am excited for them to enter into these new chapters of their life.

We all want to succeed in raising righteous children and to have an eternal family, but it won’t happen without sacrifice and work. This happens by example and commitment to the gospel.

I want to testify that I know an eternal family is key to God’s plan, since we are created in the image of Heavenly Father and everything is patterned after him then it only makes since that marriage and family is part of the plan. In order for us to have that eternal family we need to work on our examples as parents and help our children to understand how much they mean to us. We also need to be worthy enough to be sealed to them.

I want to leave you with a quote from Joseph F. Smith.

“The home is what needs reforming. Try today, and tomorrow, to make a change in your home by praying twice a day with your family. … Ask a blessing upon every meal you eat. Spend ten minutes … reading a chapter from the words of the Lord in the [scriptures]. … Let love, peace, and the Spirit of the Lord, kindness, charity, sacrifice for others, abound in your families. Banish harsh words, … and let the Spirit of God take possession of your hearts. Teach to your children these things, in spirit and power. … Not one child in a hundred would go astray, if the home environment, example and training, were in harmony with … the gospel of Christ.”

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen…

Contention

It’s Tuesday again, that means another exciting installment of TOPICAL GUIDE TUESDAY (say it like those monster truck announcers). This week, and maybe this is going to be a continuing thing – but I’ve been thinking about my own issues, and I suffer from this affliction, so let’s talk about it and see if we can come up with something.

Did anyone remember to try and thank the Lord for our blessings from last weeks challenge? I did, and even though I didn’t make it all week, I consciously thanked him a number of times and noticed slight changes in myself. I still need to continue with that, but let’s move on and look at another topic.

I went looking for Contention’s definition but came across a number of them that really didn’t make contention out to be so bad. It was merely arguing or debating. So I went looking for it among the teachings and writings of our modern day prophets.

Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride.[1. Ezra Taft Benson - Beware of Pride - Ensign May 1989 p4]

It’s funny, last night my wife and I were discussing Pride, and I had made the comment that Pride is like a root to a number of problems, and look here – I was right. But it’s no laughing matter. In this day and age, there’s a lot of contention. In my life it’s progressively grown into a problem. Concerning politics and religion I’ve gotten to where I will usually avoid the conversation entirely and talk about something else because I can get so passionate.

Elder Russell M. Nelson says this, and remember this is back in 1989,

My concern is that contention is becoming accepted as a way of life. From what we see and hear in the media, the classroom, and the workplace, all are now infected to some degree with contention. How easy it is, yet how wrong it is, to allow habits of contention to pervade matters of spiritual significance, because contention is forbidden by divine decree:

“The Lord God hath commanded that men should not murder; that they should not lie; that they should not steal; that they should not take the name of the Lord their God in vain; that they should not envy; that they should not have malice; that they should not contend one with another.” (2 Ne. 26:32.)[2. Russell M. Nelson, "The Canker of Contention," Ensign, May 1989, 68]

While this may have been written 20 years ago, I think it’s just as pertinent today, probably more so. I see it being completely true – with today’s political and religious climates.

Where is this getting us? How does one deal with what you know to be wrong, when others think something else? How do you not contend, yet still hold your moral high ground?

Luckily, in the same talk he gives an answer.

Yet, mercifully, the anointed pray for those who attack them, knowing the sad fate prophesied for their attackers. (See D&C 121:16–22.)[3. Russell M. Nelson, "The Canker of Contention," Ensign, May 1989, 68]

Alright, maybe not a specific answer, but you can read into that more. My problem is, and I know I do this often is to add that one little quip at the end, I’ll let them go with a “I understand your position” then give it that snide, contentious little “but your wrong” ending that just begs them to continue the debate.

So now comes the question, what can I (we) do about this?

The first suggestion from Elder Nelson, is to “control your tongue, pen, and word processor“, though I think you can replace or add blog, forum, twitter, etc.

Next, “Bridle the passion to speak or write contentiously for personal gain or glory“.

Then “respectfully disagree without being disagreeable“. While I need to work on all aspects of how to over come, I think here’s where I need to work the most.

And the last piece, which ties right back to pride – “Personal peace is reached when one, in humble submissiveness, truly loves God“.

So, the challenge this week, for me at least is to try and be a gracious person when it comes to disagreements, debates, or arguments when I don’t subscribe to what others think. I need to add this to my work on thanking the Lord for all my blessings and drop the pride, in all forms.

I hope you will try to make your life better by following the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the words of our Prophets and leaders.