From a talk I gave in 2009, upon moving into my current ward:

I. Introduction:

With the convenience of modern medicine, doctors can counter seasonal allergy attacks by injecting the patient with tiny doses of the particular allergen over a long period of time. This process slowly desensitizes the patient’s body to the specific allergen, even though their doses continued to increase.

Much like this method of treatment, Satan deviously introduces many immoral “allergens” into our lives through the media and entertainment. His intent is to desensitize our hearts and dull our spirits so that the evils of the world are less noticeable over time. Once successful, he continues to barrage us with the intent to “ensnare the hearts of men” (Alma 28:13). The majority of these evil pollutants can be found in movies, music, television, the Internet, books and magazines.

The ancient prophet Nephi prophesied that in the latter-days the devil would wage a war against righteousness and “others he will pacify, and lull them into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion… and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell” (2 Nephi 28:21).

We have been instructed by our Church leaders to “live in the world, but not of the world.” This includes steering clear of all modern-day immorality, including the constant media bombardment. It is not an easy battle, but one that must be fought day in and day out ‘down in the trenches’, in order to maintain a level of spirituality that will help us to return to live with our Heavenly Father after this mortal existence.

II. Negative Influence of Media

Our modern-day prophets have warned and counseled us on numerous occasions to avoid the “sleaze and filth” that is rampant in today’s media. Nobody is immune to Satan’s attacks, in or out of the Church. Elder Joe. J. Christensen has warned that “Satan has made great inroads into the lives of some Latter-day Saints through the evil in the media.” He also stated that “the Lord and his living prophets are counting on [us] to avoid the trash that surrounds [us] in the media.”

Unfortunately in today’s society, there is much evil that is portrayed as popular, or normal; and much good that is portrayed as unpopular, or odd by the media. Clearly, we are living in a day and age where men “call evil good, and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20). Fortunately, there is much that is good, wholesome, and positive left to be consumed in the media so that we do not need to associate ourselves with the sleazy filth peddled by those who seek nothing more than monetary gain. We, as Latter-day Saints, must not, and can not become involved with the negative. We can not give in to “the enticings of that cunning one” (2 Nephi 9:39) while trying to get closer to our Heavenly Father. The Savior taught his disciples on two separate continents that it is impossible to “serve God and Mammon” (Matthew 6:24 & 3 Nephi 13:24).

Elder Christensen further added that “if we permit ourselves to become involved with the negative, there will be much cause for the devil to laugh and his angels to rejoice.” None of us can ever expect to be unharmed from the exposure to immorality in entertainment and to not be damaged spiritually. As Elder Christensen so aptly put it, “we can’t roll around in the mud without getting dirty.”

Despite the ever-changing worldly viewpoints of what is acceptable and considered the norm, Elder M. Russell Ballard warned that “the commandments have not changed… right is still right. Wrong is still wrong, no matter how cleverly cloaked in respectability or political correctness.”

III. What Can We Do to Counter the Negative Influence of Media?

Since my days as a teenager I’ve heard the prophets convey that my generation is a choice generation. Our late beloved prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, in speaking to the youth of the church, stated on more than one occasion that “[they] are the best generation we have ever had. [They] are stronger [than the other generations] to face the temptations which come [their] way.” He then implored the youth to live the Gospel standards, to be an ensign to the nations, a light to the world, and to pray for the guidance and protection of the Lord. My generation has now grown and there is a new generation of youth. The generations keep coming. We need to ensure that our children know and live the Gospel standards so correctly that they in turn will instill those righteous principles into the next generation.

We know that these are the latter-days. We are living in a time when Satan and his angels, through subtleties and craftiness, are desperately trying to destroy the souls of anybody they can, including families, before the Second Coming of our Savior. Christ himself taught that “the day soon cometh that ye shall see me, and know that I am” (D&C 38:8). In the short time we have before Christ’s magnificent return, we need to do all that we can to strengthen our families, to increase our spirituality, and to keep the Spirit’s presence in our daily lives.

There is no better way to strengthen the family within the walls of our own homes than to center our families and lives around Christ. When we live Christ-centered lives within our homes the Spirit will be present and we will be given the strength to withstand the temptations that indeed will come from the adversary. In meeting this standard, we can center our entertainment choices around Christ by following the guidelines that have been laid out for us by the leaders of our Church.

The For The Strength of Youth pamphlet is an excellent tool for outlining what forms of entertainment are deemed holy and worthwhile. It is an inspired manuscript. It also cautions that entertainment in any form that is immoral is not acceptable to the Lord. We have been commanded to not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. We are also told to stand up for what is right, to have the courage to walk out of a movie, turn off a computer or television, change a radio station, or put down a magazine if what is being presented does not meet Heavenly Father’s standards. We, as Latter-day Saints, are to seek after things which are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” (Articles of Faith 1:13).

Our loving Heavenly Father has given us a precious gift that can help us make correct choices in entertainment. As baptized members of the Church, we have had the Gift of the Holy Ghost placed upon us. This magnificent gift carries a promise with it in that “it will show unto [us] all things what [we] should do” (2 Nephi 32:5). Those of us who have been baptized and who have received the Holy Ghost can have its constant promptings with us whenever we are worthy. With this special gift, we can know for certain when we are participating in inappropriate entertainment, for “the Spirit of the Lord doth not dwell in unholy temples” (Helaman 4:24). Simply put, the Holy Ghost will help us to choose the right.

We are taught this concept in a hymn that highlights this magnificent tool we’ve been given and a blessing that comes from our Heavenly Father:

Choose the right when a choice is placed before you.
In the right the Holy Spirit guides;

Choose the right! Let no spirit of digression
Overcome you in the evil hour.
There’s the right and the wrong to ev’ry question;
Be safe thru inspiration’s pow’r.

Choose the right! Choose the right!
Let wisdom mark the way before.
In its light, choose the right!
And God will bless you evermore.

Our homes should be refuges from the evils of the world. As parents, the most influential way in which we can teach our children which forms of media are and are not allowed in our homes, is by example. We can not expect our children to follow the Lord’s guidelines if they see us participating in contradictory activities. With the rising risk of online chat rooms, social networking and pornographic sites, we need to know where our children are on the Internet. There are free family filters available to protect children from the evils of the Web. Our leaders have also counseled us to know what our kids are listening to, know who their friends are, and to know what they are watching within the walls of our own homes. In addition to these, we should also encourage other forms of entertainment other than indoor activities. These include hobbies, games, exercise, sports, and service projects.

IV. Conclusion

I am confident that if we improve the choices in entertainment in our own lives, in and outside of our homes, our levels of spirituality will increase, our families will draw closer together and we will know that the Lord is proud of our lives. We can and will know that we are “in [the] strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:18-19). When we make correct entertainment-related choices we will be happy. When we participate in inappropriate entertainment we may think we are happy, but as Alma taught over 2,000 years ago, “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).

We live in wonderful times. We also live in perilous times. Satan is seeking to destroy the souls of both you and me. He knows that “he hath but a short time” (Revelation 12:12) before the Savior ushers in the Millennium. We can not give in to the wiles of temptation, no matter how flattering they may be. None of us are immune to temptation. Jacob, the brother of Nephi, warned us to “remember… the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one” (2 Nephi 9:39). As this new year dawns, let us resolve to inspect our individual lives and those of our families to determine if we can gain just a bit more of the Holy Ghost by turning off a suggestive show, by choosing not to pay for a movie ticket of an ill-advised movie, by listening to better music, or perhaps by asking ourselves the following questions:

• Does what I am doing make me feel worthy to kneel in prayer?
• Would my parents be proud of what I am currently doing?
• Would I watch or listen to this with President Monson around?
• How would I feel if I was watching or listening to this at the time of the Second Coming?

The Lord has promised that we will be blessed for our righteous choices.

In closing, I recall the words of Alma, preaching to the people in the land of Zarahemla, when he said “all you that are desirous to follow the voice of the good shepherd, come ye out from the wicked, and be ye separate, and touch not their unclean things.” (Alma 5:57).

May we strive to live this New Year closer to our Heavenly Father and his Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, to have his Spirit with us “at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9), in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

From November 1998 to October 2000 I served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Ohio Cleveland Mission, fondly referred to in the Doctrine & Covenants as “the Ohio.” My mission was a roller coaster of an experience. There were good times and bad times, success and failure, obedience and slothfulness. I developed a love for some of the areas I served in, made a lot of memories and had a lot of faith-building experiences.?

In looking back on the time I spent in northern Ohio I will openly admit that I could have done better; but, more often than not we did the work, the Spirit converted individuals, people were baptized (in a fairly difficult mission), and the field was harvested.

As I am sure most return missionaries can attest to, after being home for an entire decade my mind begins to wonder how will my time as a missionary be looked at by the Lord? I know could have worked harder, been a little more obedient, and a little more faithful in the Lord and his timetable.

But I was a naïve 19 year old kid who thought I knew the Gospel, and thought I could go teach the whole world, and thought that everyone would jump at the opportunity to hear about the restored gospel and join the Church. At least that was my impression coming out of the Missionary Training Center. After two years in a fairly difficult land trying to teach the gospel, having more negative experiences than positive, yet developing as a person, both spiritually and physically, I returned home and moved on in life.

However, I have found it increasingly difficult since that time as an ordained minister of the Lord to talk to complete strangers about the Gospel, and verses like this don’t seem to add to my self-confidence:

2 But with some I am not well pleased, for they will not open their mouths, but they hide the talent which I have given unto them, because of the fear of man. Wo unto such, for mine anger is kindled against them.

3 And it shall come to pass, if they are not more faithful unto me, it shall be taken away, even that which they have.

D&C 60:2-3

The pass along cards that the Church has created are a wonderful tool, and I have a ton of them in my shoulder bag I sometimes take to work. The problem is trying to figure out a way to work them into a conversation with success. I don’t have a problem explaining fundamental principles of the Gospel to people, it’s just taking that first step in getting them into a conversation that I find difficult.

Are you a return missionary? Have you found success in spreading the Gospel with strangers on the street since you’ve been home? Do you have a method to re-develop ‘talents’ to Open Your Mouth? I’d like to know your thoughts or hear about some successful experiences, as I’m sure thousands of other return missionaries would.

Today at work we had a meeting that discussed the strategic planning method known as S.W.O.T. As we went through concepts and ideas for out IT group, it occurred to me this might make for a great FHE lesson. While I didn’t have a complete idea for how I would approach this with my family, I knew I needed to present it.

So I busted out the white board and basically put 4 columns on it.

Column 1 was for Strengths. Which I had the family discuss what they thought were our families strengths.

Column 2 was for Weaknesses. Again had then give me what they thought were our families weaknesses.

Column 3 was for Opportunities. Listed out the responses.

Column 4 was for Threats and finished up the board with what the family thought were threats to our family.

After filling in each column, I had everyone come up and rank the values (pick 2 per column) and found the top 2 for each one. As we were going through the picking and selecting, I decided I wasn’t happy with the list of strengths, and I saw everything come together (it didn’t hurt that I had prayed about figuring something out with our families struggles this morning).

What it boiled down to is that one of the threats in the list was a threat to our spirituality, which could cascade into and produce a number of our weaknesses. I saw the opportunity to tie the spiritual threat to one of our weaknesses which was goal setting. So after asking the kids what were some ideas on what we could do to overcome our weaknesses and to protect us better from our threats – I suggested that we change our scripture study. It seems in my family that when we read late at night before bed we’re all tired and cranky and it leads to a lot of contention during scriptures. So I made the suggestion of either having early morning scriptures or scriptures right after dinner. Low and behold, my middle child made the suggestion, why  not have both! How awesome is that? I’m excited to see how this goes, and it’s going to be work on everyone’s part because none of us like getting up in the morning – me included. But we did manage to have our evening scripture right after FHE (did I mention FHE went quick so the kids kept focus) and it was about an hour earlier then usual and it went very well.

I bring this up as an easy FHE lesson idea. You can tailor it to your own families needs and guide the direction from your families answers to meet the needs of your family. It worked for us very well because it led right into some issues we have and gave a direction on how to work on solving them. Starting with a single goal and snow balling it into moving weaknesses into the strength column (by making the opposite true). I think it works fairly well for even younger kids because they can be made to feel a part of it with suggestion and allowing them to vote and again, it only lasted about 30 minutes with everything (a couple of single verse songs and opening and closing prayer).

So give it a try and let me know how it goes…

Men and Women are Equal Partners

I’ve started reading a fascinating book “65 Signs of the Times Leading up to the Second Coming” – David J. Ridges and I thought I might start a series of posts that opens the discussion for them, because I like to go beyond what he highlights in the book, to more of a let’s show examples in the world. Let’s talk about after effects, etc.

The author makes a good point to say this book isn’t written to scare people and uses quotes from prophets to try and set the tone. I’ll probably put these quotes on each of the posts so that we don’t forget and end up getting caught up in the signs. That isn’t what I want to do either.

Gordon B. Hinckley

I do not know what we did in the preexistence to merit the wonderful blessings we enjoy. We have come to earth in this great season in the long history of mankind. It is a marvelous age, the best of all. As we reflect on the the plodding course of mankind from the time of our first parents, we cannot help feeling grateful. ["Living in the Fulness of Times," Ensign, November 2001, p. 4]

Thomas S. Monson

I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us.

My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.

I declare that God lives and that He hears and answers our prayers. His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and our Redeemer. Heaven’s blessings await us. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.[Ensign, May 2009, pp 89-92]

I think the first one I want to discuss, and as a matter of fact isn’t actually one of the 65 listed – but it is most certainly something happening and seemingly getting worse.

Pitting men against women, and women against men

In today’s modern world what are some themes we see? I know, that was a little vague, so let’s refine it a little more. First we each have roles – and this isn’t based on a sexist look, it’s based on prophetic counsel from our Lord through our leaders.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. [emphasis added]

But what do we see happening? What are some examples in today’s world where men are pitted against women and women against men?

What do we see in today’s political arena, in the media, or maybe in our own circles?

Here’s one example of breaking down roles – I’ve noticed in commercials these days the trend (and I’m sure isn’t necessarily a new concept) that men are portrayed as bumbling fools, they couldn’t do anything without the heroine wife. No, I’m not saying women can’t do anything either – but the portrayal of men as incapable of knowing how to anything I think it pitting women against men (women are the new hero’s men are dumb as rocks). The examples for men spread over the centuries and can be found anywhere.

Doctrine and Covenants 121:39

We have learned by sad experience that it is the ^anature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little ^bauthority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise ^cunrighteous dominion.

So, let’s hear some examples that you can think of? Let’s discuss…

In my ward I am the Aaronic Priesthood adviser. I teach the young men, ages 12-18, a lesson each week about being bearers of the priesthood and how to be righteous boys who will turn into righteous husbands and fathers.

The first Aaronic Priesthood lesson of this year was on Who Am I? Since the beginning of each new year often brings New Year’s resolutions, I led off with instructing the boys that sometimes the best resolutions we can make are not necessarily the ones that others can see. While the stereotypical resolutions of “go to the gym,” “lose weight,” and “stop smoking” are noble pursuits, cleaning the inner vessel is possibly more important as it affects our spirituality and can help bring us closer to God.

As I personally contemplated what my resolutions would be this year my mind was drawn to various scriptures that have to deal with improving my character attributes.

Alma 7:23-24:

23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

24 And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

“There was only one perfect being, the Lord Jesus. If men had to be perfect and live all of the laws strictly, wholly, and completely [to be eligible for eternal life], there would be only one saved person in eternity. The prophet [Joseph Smith] taught that there are many things to be done, even beyond the grave, in working out our salvation.

“And so what we do in this life is chart a course leading to eternal life. That course begins here and now and continues in the realms ahead. We must determine in our hearts and in our souls, with all the power and ability that we have, that from this time forward we will press on in righteousness; by so doing we can go where God and Christ are. If we make that firm determination, and are in the course of our duty when this life is over, we will continue in that course in eternity (The Seven Deadly Heresies).”

Eternal Family

This is the talk I was asked to give on the family – there might be some mistakes because I was editing it right before I gave it…lol. Also not long before church was to being, I was informed that one of the speakers wasn’t going to be there so I needed to speak for about 20 minutes – I’ve never spoken for that long before and had to bulk up my talk quickly…

I want to tell you a story about my parents.

I t takes place some years ago when they met each other and fell in love. They decided to start a family, but were later devastated when their first born daughter died only hours after being born. Out of her death grew a desire to find answers to why their baby had been taken from their lives and would they ever see her again.

This desire led to searching through different religions, trying to find one that answered their questions about families, and what happens after they die and how to stop the pain of death that still pulled at their heart strings.

About 6 years and another child later while being stationed in the Philippines, my parents were getting ready for the arrival of another child. They were introduced to a pair of special young men who taught them the concepts of eternal marriage and families. These were concepts that had troubled my mother constantly since she had lost her first child. Learning about the plan of salvation and eternal families was a miracle for my mother.

While this didn’t completely take away her pain, it did bring her comfort and knowledge that she would be united with the daughter she lost.  In later years they would go through the same trial again when another one of their daughters died.  This time though they knew about eternal families and had the peace that their family would one day be reunited again.

My parents joined the church not long after I was born, and soon after that we traveled to Salt Lake City and along with my older sister we were sealed together for time and all eternity.

While this story of mine might not be unique it highlights something important, even though my parents were not members of the church, family was very important to them and is what brought them to find the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Russell  M. Nelson said in a March issue of the Ensign,

“Also pivotal to God’s plan is the family. In fact, a purpose of the plan is to exalt the family. The earth was created so that we as premortal spirit children of our Father in Heaven could come to the earth and obtain physical bodies. We are here to be tried and tested. We are here to “choose liberty and eternal life, . . . or to choose captivity and death”. And best of all, we are allowed to fall in love, to be married, and to invite children into our families.”

But why is the family so important? Why does our church put so much emphasis on having a family?

On a whim I did a search for Jesus on the church’s web site – I just wanted to see how many results came back and there were over 24 thousand. The next search I did was for Family- this came back with over 27 thousand results. This would seem to indicate that family is an important factor in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the November 1982 Ensign, President Ezra Taft Benson, explained in a talk titled “Fundamentals of Enduring Family Relationships”

He says…

“Today we are aware of great problems in our society. The most obvious are sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, drug abuse, alcoholism, vandalism, pornography, and violence.

These grave problems are symptoms of failure in the home—the disregarding of principles and practices established by God in the very beginning. “

In his talk he lists three fundamentals for a happy, enduring  family relationship, and this is the backbone of my talk today.

1. 1. A husband and wife must attain righteous unity and oneness in their goals, desires, and actions.

In Genesis 2:24 [Gen. 2:24] we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

In an Ensign article from Matthew O. Richardson he breaks down that verse and uses the words of prophets and other leaders to explain it.

Leaving – President Spencer W. Kimball taught that “couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side. President Kimball counseled, “Parents who hold, direct, and dictate to their married children and draw them away from their spouses are likely to regret the possible tragedy.” Some may wonder what possible “tragedy” awaits such couples. While it could be something as severe as divorce, perhaps the real tragedy is forfeiting a form of marriage the couple might have had, had they only enjoyed the opportunity to leave appropriately.

Cleaving – The term cleave, as used in Genesis, is derived from the Hebrew dawbak, meaning “cling, adhere, stick, catch by pursuit” or “follow close.” When the Savior speaks of cleaving to one’s wife in Matthew 19:5 [Matt. 19:5], the source word of cleave is from the Greek poskallah, meaning “glue or join.” By scriptural definition, then, we find that God expects us to “cling” to our spouse or to “stick” with him or her. But it should also be understood that this is not a one-time event but a condition that lasts throughout a couple’s marriage. President Hinckley has taught on several occasions that one’s spouse should be treated in special regard. He said that a husband should regard his wife “as the greatest treasure of his life.” In Matthew 6:21 [Matt. 6:21] we read, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (see also 3 Ne. 13:21).

Becoming One – Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “it takes two—a man and a woman—to form a whole.” Unity in marriage is not achieved simply by kneeling at an altar and accepting a spouse. It requires effort for a couple to become one. Marital unity doesn’t mean that spouses agree on everything. It also doesn’t mean they have to spend every minute of every day together, think the same thoughts, and order the same meal at restaurants. Rather than relying on our interpretation of what “one flesh” means in marriage, it would be well to consider this divine concept as taught in the scriptures.

One Flesh – Paul taught the concept of unity to the Corinthians by using the body as an illustration. “For the body is not one member, but many” (1 Cor. 12:14). Paul taught that in spite of obvious differences in the various parts of the body, “the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you” (1 Cor. 12:21). In summary, he taught “that there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another” (1 Cor. 12:25). It is easy to see the application of this metaphor to marriage. Neither spouse is more important than the other. Undoubtedly, individuals bring varying talents into their marriage, just as they each have differing roles, tasks, and functions. But using Paul’s perspective, one can say, “For marriage is not one member, but two. And the husband cannot say unto the wife, I have no need of thee: nor the wife again to the husband, I have no need of thee.” We may likewise conclude that there should be no schism in marriage but that husband and wife should have the same care one for another. To create such a relationship, President Kimball suggested, couples should realize that “each must accept literally and fully that the good of the little new family must always be superior to the good of either spouse.”

My wife and I have been married for 11 years now. We’ve had our struggles, but we’ve started realizing that where we want to be is going to take a combined effort and only if we’re on the same team. This applies to all facets of marriage.

In our marriage we realize that sometimes we are not on the same wavelength or path, and as a result things become tougher than they really should. But we find that when we are united on a common goal, it’s much easier to work towards it and overcome it.

President Benson also mentions that

“Fidelity to one’s marriage vows is absolutely essential for love, trust, and peace. Adultery is unequivocally condemned by the Lord.

Husbands and wives who love each other will find that love and loyalty are reciprocated. This love will provide a nurturing atmosphere for the emotional growth of children. Family life should be a time of happiness and joy that children can look back on with fond memories and associations”

What are some the messages that we are being bombarded with through TV, movies and books? What has been presented as the norm?

Among other things, it’s that berating, degrading, and demeaning our spouses and children is fair game, and usually humorous to our friends and colleagues.

Some time ago, when we were first married and my wife still worked, she would come home upset and disgusted by what her coworkers would talk about when there was time to sit around and chat. They would get together and talk about their spouses in degrading ways, and often left her wondering why they were even married.

But here’s the question for us as Latter Day Saints, would we talk about our eternal spouse that way? The person that we are suppose love with all our heart, do they deserve that type of infidelity? Are we vigilant in what we say and do when it comes to our families?

President Spencer W. Kimbal l said that we should have “total fidelity in marriage” and to me that means in all aspects of it, not just physically but in our behavior and how we speak about our spouses and families.

1. 2. Nurture your children with love and the admonitions of the Lord.

I’m glad President Benson says “Rearing happy, peaceful children is no easy challenge in today’s world”, and I’m sure some of you know this first hand. But he does go on to say that it can and is being done, so there is hope.

President Benson also says “Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best.”

M. Russell Ballard gives 5 ideas for how to gain that happy and enduring family:

1. Full and equal partnerships. Men and women joined together in marriage need to work together as a full partnership. However, a full and equal partnership between men and women does not imply the roles played by the two sexes are the same in God’s grand design for His children. As the proclamation clearly states, men and women, though spiritually equal, are entrusted with different but equally significant roles. These roles complement each other. Men are given stewardship over the sacred ordinances of the priesthood. To women, God gives stewardship over bestowing and nurturing mortal life, including providing physical bodies for God’s spirit children and guiding those children toward a knowledge of gospel truths. These stewardships, equally sacred and important, do not involve any false ideas about domination or subordination. Each stewardship is essential for the spiritual progression of all family members, parents and children alike.

Family stewardships thus must be understood in terms of obligations and responsibilities—and in terms of love, service, and interdependence. Men who attempt to dominate their wives, who seek to exercise unrighteous dominion without regard to spousal counsel and sensitivities, simply don’t understand that such actions are contrary to God’s will.

2. Fathers. The proclamation states, “Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” They teach their families the gospel and lead in kindness, following the counsel found in section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants (see D&C 121:34–36).

Fathers perform priesthood ordinances and give priesthood blessings, including father’s blessings to their children. They pray for and with family members, collectively and individually. They set an example of respect and love for their eternal companion and mother of their children. In all things they follow the example of the Savior and strive to be worthy of His name and His blessing. Fathers should seek constantly for guidance from the Holy Ghost so they will know what to do, what to say, and also know what not to do and what not to say. They serve the family and the Church in the spirit of love and enthusiasm, by example preparing family members to serve—especially preparing sons to serve as worthy missionaries.

3. Mothers. The proclamation teaches that “mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” Nurturing refers to parenting behaviors such as warmth, support, bonding, attachment, recognizing each child’s unique abilities, and attending to children’s needs. Nurturing in and of itself is more important in the development of a child than is any particular method or technique of child rearing. It hardly needs saying that nurturing is best carried out in a stable, safe, family context.

A mother’s nurturing love arouses in children, from their earliest days on earth, an awakening of the memories of love and goodness they experienced in their premortal existence. Because our mothers love us, we learn, or more accurately remember, that God also loves us.

Today there is significant pressure in our materialistic world to have and spend more money. Unfortunately, this draws married mothers to work outside the home in order to provide a second income. As husbands, wives, and children recognize the difference between basic necessities and material wants, they lessen family financial burdens and contribute to helping mothers be at home. Decisions about working outside the home are difficult ones and need to be made prayerfully, keeping ever in mind the counsel of the living prophets on this complex issue.

4. Principles for marriage and families. From the proclamation we learn that “successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” Parents should work to create loving, eternal connections with their children. Reproof or correction will sometimes be required. But it must be done sensitively, persuasively, with an increase of love thereafter lest the child esteem the parent to be an enemy (see D&C 121:43).

It can be equally destructive when parents are too permissive and overindulge their children, allowing children to do as they please. Parents need to set limits in accordance with the importance of the matter involved and the child’s disposition and maturity. Help children understand the reasons for rules, and always follow through with appropriate discipline when rules are broken. It is important as well to praise appropriate behavior. It will challenge all of your creativity and patience to maintain this balance, but the rewards will be great. Children who understand their boundaries through the consistent application of important rules are more likely to do well at school, to be more self-controlled, and to be more willing to abide by the laws of the land.

5. Family councils. As you would expect to hear from me, one of the best tools we have as parents is the family council. I cannot emphasize enough its importance in helping to understand and address challenges in the family. When members of one family began to feel unusual contention invading their home, they called a family council to discuss the situation. The father and then the mother explained to their children what they had observed and asked how each felt about it. The mother and father learned that since their two oldest children had left home, one to be married and one to go to college, an unfair burden of responsibility had been unwittingly shifted to the two oldest children remaining at home, and they were becoming resentful. By counseling together and listening to what their children were feeling, the family made a more equitable distribution of responsibility among the children, resolving much of the frustration and tension in the home.

I recognize that there are as many kinds of family councils as there are different kinds of families. Family councils can consist of one parent and one child, of two parents and several children, of just two parents, or of just siblings, and so on. Regardless of the size or makeup of the family council, what really matters are loving motivation, an atmosphere that encourages free and open discussion, and a willingness to listen to the honest input of all council members—as well as to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.

My wife and I both agree that letting our children know that they are loved is one of the most important aspects in raising our children. While we don’t know everything, we do know that if children don’t find love in their homes they will try to find it anywhere they can, which can lead to sadness and sorrow.

While I struggle with my kids at times, luckily I have a wonderful wife who helps me remember what the goal is and how to try and reach it.

In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” it says

“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

With children in school and then homework, how much quality time is left during the day to spend with our children? Are we doing all we can to help them learn and understand the gospel and feel loved? I know this is an area where I can do better – but luckily my wife has done a great job, and my kids love listening to gospel stories and learning about the gospel.

As our children have grown and our lives have become more hectic spending quality time together get’s harder – I’m sure some family’s have even more trouble finding time when everyone is at home together.

Some years ago, when we were living in Logan I had to commute to my job – at one point I was driving for about 2 hours each way to work. That left little time for the family. But through different circumstances– the Lord has blessed my family with me working only 10 minutes away and having a lot more time together. Along with Family Home evening, we try to have an additional game night per week, and we try to have dinner together every night so we can talk about our day to each other.

1. 3. Parents must prepare their children for the ordinances of the gospel.

President Benson says

“The most important teachings in the home are spiritual. Parents are commanded to prepare their sons and daughters for the ordinances of the gospel: baptism, confirmation, priesthood ordinations, and temple marriage. They are to teach them to respect and honor the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Most importantly, parents are to instill within their children a desire for eternal life and to earnestly seek that goal above all else.

Eternal life may be obtained only by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel.

When parents themselves have complied with the ordinances of salvation, when they have set the example of a temple marriage, not only is their own marriage more likely to succeed, but their children are far more likely to follow their example.

Parents who provide such a home will have, as the Lord has said, “a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, … a house of order, a house of God.” (D&C 88:119.) Regardless of how modest or humble that home may be, it will have love, happiness, peace, and joy. Children will grow up in righteousness and truth and will desire to serve the Lord.”

In a few months Ethan will be 8 years old and in another 9 months after that Alexander will be old enough to receive the Aaronic Priesthood. I am grateful that I am worthy enough to participate in these ordinances with them and am excited for them to enter into these new chapters of their life.

We all want to succeed in raising righteous children and to have an eternal family, but it won’t happen without sacrifice and work. This happens by example and commitment to the gospel.

I want to testify that I know an eternal family is key to God’s plan, since we are created in the image of Heavenly Father and everything is patterned after him then it only makes since that marriage and family is part of the plan. In order for us to have that eternal family we need to work on our examples as parents and help our children to understand how much they mean to us. We also need to be worthy enough to be sealed to them.

I want to leave you with a quote from Joseph F. Smith.

“The home is what needs reforming. Try today, and tomorrow, to make a change in your home by praying twice a day with your family. … Ask a blessing upon every meal you eat. Spend ten minutes … reading a chapter from the words of the Lord in the [scriptures]. … Let love, peace, and the Spirit of the Lord, kindness, charity, sacrifice for others, abound in your families. Banish harsh words, … and let the Spirit of God take possession of your hearts. Teach to your children these things, in spirit and power. … Not one child in a hundred would go astray, if the home environment, example and training, were in harmony with … the gospel of Christ.”

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen…

Those latter-day saints who enjoy the historical side of the scriptures, especially how the Book of Mormon plays into the Restoration, will enjoy the most recent addition in a series of articles on Mormon Times by Michael R. Ash. In today’s article, Brother Ash discussed the correlation between the Urim and Thummim, the Nephite “interpreters,” and the translation of the Gold Plates.

As we learn in the book of Ether, Mahonri Moriancumer, more commonly known as ‘the brother of Jared, was instructed to seal up the record along with two stones to be used as interpreters in the future. As Brother Ash writes, “These interpreters eventually ended up in the hands of Mosiah the younger, who used them to translate the Jaredite record — the Book of Ether.”

The article goes on to discuss how towards the end of translating the Book of Mormon, Oliver Cowdery, Martin Harris and David Whitmer asked Joseph Smith to ask the Lord if they could be the three witnesses that the Book of Mormon mentions. As is recorded in D&C 17:1, the Lord replied:

Behold, I say unto you, that you must rely upon my word, which if you do with full purpose of heart, you shall have a view of the plates, and also of the breastplate, the sword of Laban, the Urim and Thummim, which were given to the brother of Jared upon the mount, when he talked with the Lord face to face, and the miraculous directors which were given to Lehi while in the wilderness, on the borders of the Red Sea.

Brother Ash mentions how the terms Urim and Thummim do not appear in the Book of Mormon at all, and proceeds to describe the processes and procedures that Joseph Smith underwent in translating the Book of Mormon.

Each article in the series builds off the previous and leads the reader to ponder on what the upcoming post will entail. Today’s article concluded by asking, if the Three Witnesses were promised that they would see all the items mentioned in D&C 17:1, what did they end up seeing besides the Gold Plates?

Read the full article here.

Respect Others

I was cooking dinner the other night, and I decided to listen to the Mormon Channel to try and recoup the spirit in our house. At the time, it was a talk portion called “Standing Up” and this episode was on “civility”. As the show progressed, I thought it might make for a good Topical Guide installment. While I didn’t find “civility” in the topical guide, I did fine the next best thing, “respect”.

I didn’t get to catch the entire show, but it started out by talking about what things have gone missing [in some] in our daily lives. Specifically speaking about what “reality tv” shows are presenting to those watching. They spoke about the anger and backbiting, and other awful behavior they present as everyday life.

Recently, we’ve had to move to the Salt Lake valley – in that move we picked up a broader cable package because there was a deal – but it’s been less then a blessing. There’s too many channels and a lot of them are just garbage, at any rate it’s left me with a lot of flipping around and no shortage of reality shows on. The promotion of disrespect is painfully oblivious, and makes me sick. They group people who will have issues, and then pray on these issues to create the conflict. I’m not actually sure why people need to watch others conflict when I’m sure they have their own, or is there something deeper that needs to be quenched by all the fighting and disrespect? Alright, enough of that diatribe – let’s move on…

I am in love with using an online edition of a very specific dictionary, it puts things in better perspective when it comes to the scriptures, and this countries greatest document the Constitution. It is the 1828 Noah Websters dictionary. But I wanted to look up both words, civility and respect to see what they mean at that time period.

CIVILITY, n.

1. The state of being civilized; refinement of manners; applied to nations; as distinguished from the rudeness of barbarous nations.

2. Good breeding; politeness; complaisance; courtesy; decorum of behavior in the treatment of others, accompanied with kind offices, and attention to their wants and desires. Civility respects manners or external deportment, and in the plural, civilities denote acts of politeness.

RESPECT’, v.t. [L. respecto, or respectus, from respicio; re and specio, to view.]

1. To regard; to have regard to in design or purpose.

In orchards and gardens, we do not so much respect beauty, as variety of ground for fruits, trees and herbs.

2. To have regard to, in relation or connection; to relate to. The treaty particularly respects our commerce.

3. To view or consider with some degree of reverence; to esteem as possessed of real worth.

I always loved and respected Sir William.

4. To look towards.

Palladius adviseth the front of his house should so respect the south. [Not in use.]

To respect the person, to suffer the opinion or judgment to be influenced or biased by a regard to the outward circumstances of a person, to the prejudice of right and equity.

Thou shalt not respect the person of the poor. Lev. 19.

Neither doth God respect any person. 2Sam. 14.

I also want to mention another aspect of respect, this is personal respect. The trend, and this goes beyond my meager  life – but it seems progressionary. People have been loosing respect for themselves and it’s getting worse every year.

I have to say, my kids are pretty neat – at their ages they already understand modesty. So it’s rather annoying when we go out shopping all the filth they are witness too. The half naked women, the swearing, etc that people are so proudly displaying as if a badge of honor. We try to teach our kids that going outside the house we are to look respectable and that we use proper language. Now I don’t know everyone’s circumstances but in my mind it’s merely a choice, nothing else on how they behave, or dress. Skimpy clothes do not cost less then modest clothes and choosing what to say is free.

I guess my question, or better yet my reasoning behind talking about respect and civility is that I’ve noticed a big lack of it, and yes Im guilty of it too – but I want to be better then that. I believe to some degree, some of our current social ailments are attributable to the definite lack of respect and civility.

So let’s see what kind of difference we can make by adding some extra respect and civility to our lives.

The other day I responded to a tweet by @helamansarmy in which he asked for someone’s take on Moses 2:20. The resulting conversation can be seen here. In the resulting conversation back and forth, Helaman asked if I’d like to become a contributor on this blog. Having wondering how I could turn my personal blog into something with more of a focus as this blog has, I jumped at the chance. So here I am, the newest contributor to Helaman’s Army. I look forward to working in collaboration with Helaman and sharing thoughts, experiences and testimonies with other like-minded latter-day saints out in the blogosphere.

Moses, well not this guy, but the real Moses

While I was home eating lunch today, no one was home and I got the notion to start reading Moses. So I grabbed the IPod Touch and started reading. I got to the second chapter, specifically version 20 (Moses 2:20) .

And I, God, said: Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl which may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

It struck me, that this reads as if God is saying the waters bring forth live creatures – including birds. Now I know the LDS church takes no official position on evolution, it got me thinking – strictly subjectively about this.

I turned to twitter and broadcasted my question, to see if I could get some answers or comments on this.

Quickly I was replied to by LDSGuy, with his thoughts on it. He responded with:

Compare Moses 2:20–23 with Abraham 4:20–23

So I went and checked it out.

20 And the Gods said: Let us prepare the waters to bring forth abundantly the moving creatures that have life; and the fowl, that they may fly above the earth in the open expanse of heaven.
21 And the Gods prepared the waters that they might bring forth great ^awhales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters were to bring forth abundantly after their kind; and every winged fowl after their kind. And the Gods saw that they would be obeyed, and that their plan was good.
22 And the Gods said: We will bless them, and cause them to be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas or ^agreat waters; and cause the fowl to multiply in the earth.
23 And it came to pass that it was from evening until morning that they called night; and it came to pass that it was from morning until evening that they called day; and it was the fifth time.

Which again, seems to me to read the same as Moses.

# LDSguy @HelamansArmy when read in context I’m going to say that its solely talking about the waters being a home to whales et al.
# LDSguy @HelamansArmy its not implying the whales and “moving creature(s)” were created from the ocean.
# LDSguy @HelamansArmy perhaps “prepared the waters that they might bring forth…every living creature” (Abr. 4:21) is in ref. to us being 70% agua?
# LDSguy @HelamansArmy and we need water to survive. on the fifth day God created waters. without water we’d shrivel up & die. all mammals. whales 2
# LDSguy @HelamansArmy like i said, 2 me it reads that the Gods created waters on 5th day. all of them. & w/o it all mammals and birds wld die.

It’s funny, I never had really thought about it that manner. As in reference to animals needing water. I always put the creation in the context of how it would work scientifically, like if the earth was forming – how would it form step by step. The waters would be down the line after the mountains and stuff – but for some reason it escaped me that the waters needed to come before animals (because they need water to survive) – DUH! Though now that I reread the previous verses, grass (plants) are created on the 3rd day – so that kind of blows out my theory and LDSGuys.

At any rate, while I don’t know that it’s ultimately important – knowing the exact meaning and reason behind how the text is written, it sure would be nice to have some knowledge on this subject.

So I’m asking for any input or thoughts on the subject. Does anyone know of anything written on the subject, or know anything on it – please comment on this and let me know!

The Eternal Family Through Christ by Judith Mehr

I know, I know – it’s been awhile. I have no excuses really – though I have been busy, though lately I’ve been the opposite of busy – I’ve actually had nothing to do since the end of May (workforce reduction).

This past Sunday, my wife had the opportunity to speak being part of a newly installed Primary Presidency, and her topic was the Eternal Family. I thought, what better way to get back in the saddle then with that topic. I mean, I have a family and we’re sealed together and I never really thought much past the topical notion of being sealed for all time and eternity. But what does it mean beyond that?

I’m sure some of us have had that thought, so if I’m sealed to my family and to my parents and so on, in theory isn’t everyone sealed to someone? I know it might be a bit juvinile, and I know that a lot of it gets worked out on the other side of the veil, but it’s been one of those nigglers in the back of mind since I was a kid and I really haven’t found much of an answer for it – but I digress, let’s get back on topic.

So looking up Family, Eternal in the topical guide yeilds a list of scriptures to reference. The one that cought my attention (well really because I had read in it another article) is D&C 138:48.

Foreshadowing the great work to be done in the ^atemples of the Lord in the ^bdispensation of the fulness of times, for the redemption of the dead, and the ^csealing of the children to their parents, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse and utterly wasted at his coming.

Which got me wondering about this “earth be smitter with a curse and utterly wasted at his coming”. What exactly is going on here? I don’t remember (and it might be I wasn’t paying attention that day) ever learning about it. But I need to find some answers.

While I don’t have a direct answer, after reading “The Sealing and Binding” [When A Child Wonders by Robert L. Millet] I did start to get an idea of what’s so important here. We’ve all heard the message of Elija concerning “the hearts of the children should turn to their fathers” and vice-a-versa, right – well the curse also comes from Elija. Basically, and please correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s that these eternal familia bonds are a representation of how a spiritual family works. The plan was laid out, and given to Joseph Smith – explained if you will, and he understood it to mean that if this isn’t done then what was the point and we on earth fail. Did that make sense?

Let me break it down with a little example.

You are stranded on a desert island, all you have with you is the plans to build a house. If you follow the plans and build the house you will have a warm, safe shelter to live in. If you don’t, well you’ll end up dying a horrible death.

So in this example, the plan is the sealing powers. To be an eternal family we have to be sealed, which require those keys and ordinances which enable us to become an eternal family  The house is the eternal family. So if we build a strong home, it will shelter us through thick and thin, keep us warm in our hearts with the love of Christ. And well dying a horrible death is the curse.

Something else to think about,

Every person married in the temple for time and for all eternity has sealed upon him, conditioned upon his faithfulness, all of the blessings of the ancient patriarchs, including the crowning promise and assurance of eternal increase, which means, literally, a posterity as numerous as the dust particles of the earth” (Millennial Messiah, 264).

Granted I haven’t covered all the aspects of the Eternal Family – but I hope I have shed a little light on the subject. I emplore you to study more on the subject by reading some of the pertinant articles found from  searching on LDS.org. There’s always so much to learn, or relearn, or update…

Don't get led astray

And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.

This post was brought about after reading about a bill that would in essence force people to be charitable, which got me thinking about all the things that Satan has mimicked. By this is I mean all those things that God has given us that are direct gifts from Him. Without further todo, the list.

Priesthood vs Priestcraft

Priesthood – The priesthood is the eternal power and authority of God. Through the priesthood God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power He redeems and exalts His children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth.

Priestcraft - 2 Nephi 26:29, we read: He commandeth that there shall be no priestcrafts, for, behold, priestcrafts are that men preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain and praise of the world; but they seek not the welfare of Zion.

It seems like a no brainer, right? On the one hand you have an eternal power and authority, this is what created the universe! Then on the other you have people mimicking a power and authority that wasn’t bestowed upon them, and in some cases they will even say they don’t have it nor do they need it to perform miracles.

Charity vs Selfishness

Charity – Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another. It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love and the most joyous to the soul (see 1 Nephi 11:23).

Selfishness – I know this is like the polar opposite here, but think about it. What are some of the root causes of today’s problems? In the Topical Guide we can read that selfishness, also goes with Covetousness, Greed, Lust, and Pride. But these are promoted as good things!

There’s been a round of commercials on lately, I don’t recall the name of them or who’s putting them on, but they’re about couples or families. Basically the premise is they take the phrase “Mine and Yours” and convert it to “Ours”, or the word “Me” and convert it to “We”. Truth is, I know a lot of people who have gotten into a mindset that what’s theirs is theirs and that’s all their is to it. I also have a sneaking suspicion that this is one of the reasons (along with others listed up there) that marriages fail so often – people aren’t willing to be charitable in their relationships.

Love vs Lust

Love - I know, this was mentioned above, but I think it takes a closer look. Love is a feeling of deep devotion, concern, and affection. The greatest example of God’s love for His children is found in the infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ. Love for God and fellow men is a characteristic of disciples of Jesus Christ.

Lust – And what does Satan come up with as a knock-off, lust. Lust can destroy families, where Love promotes families. Lust is dark, and dirty and gives into cravings, where Love is bright and give power to overcome and strengths out of our weaknesses.

I see a trend here. But another reason for the ailments in the world can be chalked up to lust. Lusting for riches, power, reputation, people. If a person was truly a loving person there would be none of that. I’ve always maintained that if a person was truly living a Christ like life, the side-effects would be these attributes listed here. The world wouldn’t be the way it is.

Consecration vs Socialism

Consecration – The United Order exalts the poor and humbles the rich. In the process both are sanctified. The poor, released from the bondage and humiliating limitations of poverty, are enabled as free men to rise to their full potential, both temporally and spiritually. The rich, by consecration and by imparting of their surplus for the benefit of the poor, not by constraint but willingly as an act of free will, evidence that charity for their fellowmen characterized by Mormon as “the pure love of Christ.” (Moro. 7:47.) ¹

Socialism - Socialism, wholly materialistic, is founded in the wisdom of men and not of God. Although all socialists may not be atheists, none of them in theory or practice seek the Lord to establish his righteousness.²

Of course Consecration only works when we are truly living a Christ like life (remember, you gotta have those side-effects!). Socialsm is just a fake way of trying to make it happen, except it really is nothing like it. Being forced into giving up my extra is nothing like loving my fellow man and giving him of my extra. Compassion does not equal compulsion.

I know there’s more of these out there, I’m always thinking to myself “look another imitation” but wouldn’t you know it, my mind has gone blank. So if you have any suggestions, let me know – and I’ll update this post with additional items.