Jul

27

My Changing Feelings About God

Filed Under God Head, Gospel, Heavenly Father, Holy Ghost, Jesus | Leave a Comment

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One of the assignments in a high school religion class was to look at how your image of God has changed through the years. I have reflected on this in recent days and have tried to answer this question probably more fully than I did even in the years leading up to my original writing in high school while realizing the changes that have come to me in the years since my original writing.

I start now at the same place that I think I started in my assignment. I was a child and I think in First Grade. I was seated on the floor with my class while a Priest spoke with us. This was a rare visit. The Priest taught us that even if we were all alone and thought nobody knew what we were doing that God knew. I remember listening pretty intently and that the words had some effect on me and my earliest views of God as someone who knows everything. There are no secrets from God.

My belief in God in my grade school years revolved around God being the giver of what I wanted. I wanted him to perform a miracle to do my Math homework when I forgot my book and tried to bargain with him with such things as making my bed. The homework was undone by the sentence seemed light compared to what I feared. I hate to think of seeing God in the same light as Santa Claus. But in some ways that may have been my view. I recall once even praying to God to let Santa know what I wanted to Christmas.

In around fourth and fifth, I would rattle of the most shallow and short prayer. There was no foreshadowing of someone who would be spiritual in later years. In not so many words, I was basically asking to have good enough vision not to need glasses and to remain a child. I realize how worried my parents would have been if I were frozen in time in childhood as was my heart’s desire. I don’t recall praying for another during this period. It was all about me and not growing up. There was no real relationship with God. I didn’t even invite his help in other areas of my help nor do I think I was cable of that broad of thinking yet.

At my school, we would sometimes have a time when we could say confessions to a Priest. I remember praying on such a day in my youth with child-like faith in Church for my Grandma who had severe rheumotoid arthritius. Shortly afterwards, I learned that she was going to have a new treatment and I felt it was answers to my prayers. Later, I think I prayed for her again at Church during the time waiting or after seeing the Priest and shortly afterwards found out that the treatments that I think were not good were ended and I think I took this as an answer to prayer.

In high school, I was a rather troubled youth. Angst seems to have been coined for the very feelings of my youth. While I was not a wild child, I did have huge regrets regarding how I treated my mother. I felt like I was a monster. I don’t remember what I prayed about too much but I think wanting God to let me die was at the top of my list. Oh, I had depression too. There were a couple of times that I remember feeling good when praying. I did not know yet about the influence of the Holy Spirit. I felt a peace and knowing that God loved me who knew everything helped me. I still was just as troubled on a day to bases. Yet, I knew there were no secrets with God. He knew my every mistake. He still loved me.

After I became LDS, I conceptualized God as looking like Jesus. This was a little hard to get used to. The Doctrine that I lived with God before I was born and that he is the Father of my Spirit really made me feel more close to God. After receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, I felt so blessed and so much peace. I felt so very loved. I would also learn that faith allowed me to do things that were contrary to my shy nature. I did not know faith could bring about change before and of the assistance and strength God could give to us.

Later, I would go through emotionally a lot of trials. I felt that I followed what God wanted me to do and it was so hard. It was the hardest thing in my life. And I felt so prepared to do what he wanted me to do. I viewed God as a tester. And I was so shaken up. I was afraid to ask for guidance as I didn’t want to be put to the test.

Now I see again the many ways God has blessed me. And he has brought me out of that darkness. I think I have regained feelings of friendship that I had towards God during my early years of being LDS at least to some degree.

I have also had to catch myself at times and realize that as wonderful as it is to have a relationship with God that He is really infinite and perfect. I read a good book on Catholic theology that spoke of how infinite God is recently. I felt such peace in my prayer that night. Knowing that God is so much more than I can comprehend gave me such feelings of reverence. The feelings of faith described in the book are much as I have experienced through the years starting when I was Catholic and continuing as an LDS person. God has been the same all along and has reached me at times through the years and guided me. At times, I feel God has guided me in spite of the many roadblocks that I create.

God is infinite. And being perfect and more than the smartest and wisest person on Earth, God still allows me to approach him as my Heavenly Father. I have heard of people that are so intelligent that they can’t relate to the common man. God can relate to me when I am simple and also when I think I am much more mature and contemplative. I think I need to learn more of my limits and how much of what I am is due to God allowing me to reach this point and carrying me. God is personal.

Jul

3

The 4th Of July

Filed Under Ezra Taft Benson, Faith, Gospel, Government, Joseph Smith Jr., Preparedness, Prophesy, Responsibility, Teachings | 4 Comments

I wanted to take a moment to reflect on this upcoming holiday. Before all the fireworks, picnics, swimming and parties lead to one short weekend, and I realize I’ve yet to make a post.

I want to talk about why this holiday is one of the most important holidays to me. This one isn’t about presents, or candy. This one isn’t about bunnies or ghosts. This one is about God and this Country.

People can say what they will about the founding fathers, but they are all wrong! God inspired the men and women who led and changed the course of events to take this country out of bondage and create the first uniquely free nation, a nation founded under the belief in God.

It amazes me how far people will go in their effort to tear this country apart under the guise of freedom. Using inept interpretations of how those freedoms work. They tend to forget that with all that freedom comes a very real and a very great amount of responsibility. They take for granted, just exactly how they obtained the freedom they so carelessly toss about.

As LDS members, this should mean more to you then the jello salad you’ll have this weekend, or that perfectly cooked steak you’ll have. This country and it’s Constitution is so important to our religion. We should try to understand it as completely as we can. We have been warned, even prophesied - ““Even this nation will be on the very verge of crumbling to pieces and tumbling to the ground, and when the Constitution is upon the brink of ruin, this people will be the staff upon which the nation shall lean, and they shall bear the Constitution away from the very verge of destruction”1.

Does anyone actually understand what that means? In a talk given by Cleon Skousen, entitled “Secret Combinations and Freedom” he describes the answer by learning it, understanding it and being able to apply it [The Constitution]. Are you ready to bear up the Constitution? I know I’m not. But as brother Skousen said, it gives a measure of relief to know it’s us that will do it.

With the recent 2nd Amendment ruling, it was made evident to me, just how much I didn’t know. Sure I understood the basics, but even then I was painfully aware that I lacked understanding in key principles that I thought I knew.

According to brother Skousen, in another talk entitled “Secret to America’s Strength” he illustrates that the founding fathers answered every problem America is facing (I beleive the talk was written in the 70’s) at that time, and I’d be willing to bet still answers them today - but we’ve been slowly and quietly moved in a different direction. Away from what God had inspired these men to write, and what those words meant.

I’ll end this post with just a couple of thoughts and ideas.

The first so give you some cause for happiness. It’s a prophesy [The Constitution will crumble], and that means there is always a cause and effect action applied to it. If we do this, this will happen adversely if we don’t do this, that will happen. The Constitution need not crumble.

That’s where the second piece comes in. I’ve suggested it before, and I’ll do it again. LEARN THE CONSTITUTION. But don’t just read it, understand it. You’ll notice if you read the first couple of pages of opinion on the recent 2nd Amendment ruling that even Supreme Court justices reference 18th century dictionaries to properly define words used. You can do this too. I also suggest reference material, written by church leaders and scholars - Cleon Skousen is a great start and you get his teaching material that he used in his own Constitutional course given at BYU.

Readers, I testify to you of the power and strength of Heavenly Father. He loves us, and that loves is so deep and sweet that with it and His strength we can over comes anything! While I am not a perfect person, and sometimes feel so inadequate, but as my Father in Heaven has the greatest capacity to forgive and love me, I know that with Him all things can be accomplished.

One last thing, have a wonderful 4th of July! Cook a yummy meal and celebrate exactly what the 4th means to this nation and your family.

  1. Ezra Taft Benson, “Our Divine Constitution,” Ensign, Nov 1987, 4 ↩

Jun

29

Defensive About Beliefs

Filed Under Gordon B. Hinckley, Gospel, Respect, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I am not someone who sets out to bash. I have had less than a handful of incidents where I felt that combative feeling come out when confronted with people who had views opposed to my LDS beliefs. And such feelings are always met with regret. One of the people was someone who I liked and had only recently starting teaching. He was not bashing but rather sharing another religion that he had considered and I think how they felt Saturday was the Lord’s Day. I made a snide remark about pork or something. I felt bad and apologized. Later, I would learn a lot more about a denomonation who considers Saturday to be the Lord’s Day and gain so much respect for them after watching their network.

I think bashing removes us from the humanity of the other person. While it may not have been bashing per say, I have an older friend who said that she told the missionaries knocking on her door that she was already saved. As an LDS missionary, I remember having conversations and feelings about this and sometimes they were not so kind. The missionary retorted in what she felt was a rude way that he was going to heaven too or something to that effect. This woman had been a friend of my family for years. My dad worked with her husband. We socialized as a family and they had a daughter my age. She is very religious. Family is so important to her. She has expressed such care for me though we don’t talk much. I was hurt for her.

Sometimes I think bashing comes from insecurity or thinking we have to prove things. God is able to do his own work. And in the end, faith is always required to have any religious belief as you cannot prove it. You can help people with concerns and often bring out facts or help with false information.

I recall seeing President Gordon B. Hinckley be interviewed by Larry King years ago. The interview went well. There was mention of something of the Church and blacks and the Priesthood. President Hinckley pretty much said that was the past and we needed to look at the Church’s current postion. I would have probably have given some long drawn out explanation.

There was a sister missionary who according to a mutual companion was the hardest working of all missionaries. She also had such a love for her pioneer ancestor who crawled during part of the stretch of her Pioneer journey. I think she had a strong testimony. When someone confronted her about a belief, I think that according to this mutual companion that she was calm and did tell them that was what we believed.

I also have a side of me that likes to argue and win at times. I have to keep it in check. Usually I am very noncombative. Sacred truths are not a sport. We need to share with love and concern with a person and love them. I have had a couple of well-meaning people get under my skin as they tried to discuss my beliefs. One man was clearly trying to show me the error of my ways. My heart was not as it should have been in those moments. If love goes out the door, the conversation needs to end. Period.

May

28

The Kingdoms and Questions

Filed Under Gospel, Joseph Smith Jr., Prophets | 7 Comments

I was reading a post over at Small & Simple and ended up with some of my own questions about the different Kingdoms of Heaven and Perdition.

1. Can anyone be a “Son of Perdition”?

I haven’t found anything concrete about this, but reading the definitions makes it out as if anyone could be one. So why the question? Well I know not every Mormon gets into this mode of thinking, but if we’re taught we are the only church teaching the truth, how could anyone come to a “personal witness of Him [Jesus Christ] from the Holy Ghost” 1, except someone who is actually taught the truth about him.

What are your thoughts on this?

2. A Testimony of Jesus Christ

One of the requirements to enter into the Celestial Kingdom is to have “received the testimony of Jesus”2. But exactly what kind of testimony is this? We all tend to bear our testimony with a piece that states “Jesus is our Savior”, and for the card carriers, we admit to having a testimony of Jesus Christ. But is this the same kind of testimony that if once we say we do, then deny it have made ourselves a son or daughter of perdition?

I always thought (and was probably taught some where down the road) that heaven would have to be opened to you, you would have to have a perfect knowledge or understanding of Jesus Christ3.

I believe the answer is held in part in [D&C 76:10], “For by my aSpirit will I benlighten them, and by my cpower will I make known unto them the dsecrets of my ewill—yea, even those things which feye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man”. Which seems to be more then just the basic testimony.

But…(don’t you love it)

The Iron Rod asked the same question, and came up with a different idea on this subject, one which takes from the King Follett sermon.

All sins shall be forgiven, except the sin against the Holy Ghost; for Jesus will save all except the sons of perdition. What must a man do to commit the unpardonable sin? He must receive the Holy Ghost, have the heavens opened unto him, and know God, and then sin against him. After a man has sinned against the Holy Ghost, there is no repentance for him. He has got to say that the sun does not shine while he sees it; he has got to deny Jesus Christ when the heavens have been opened unto him, and to deny the plan of salvation with his eyes open to the truth of it; and from that time he begins to be an enemy. This is the case with many apostates of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints4.

[emphasis added]

I guess that does change it, I knew I remembered something else from a Gospel Doctrine class a few years back, and that’s why I use the term Sons and Daughters or Perdition. So it looks like it’s very possible for anyone of us to become one, which is a sobering thought.

What are your thoughts?

3. Are the Kingdoms more personal then grouping everyone into 3?

This question relies heavily on [John 14:2], ” In my Father’s ahouse are many bmansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” [empahsis added] and [1 Cor 15:41], ” There is one glory of the asun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the bstars: for one star cdiffereth from another star in dglory.” [emphasis added]. Also by reading [D&C 131:1-4] you find that there are 3 degrees within the Celestial kingdom.

I think this goes a long way in showing exactly how much Heavenly Father loves us and wants us all to return to him. I also know as nice as it sounds, it’s also hard. I can sit here and say anything I want and make it look like I’m a perfect little angel, but that’s not the case. God understands this and Jesus takes the cases one by one.

See this is yet another one of those connected reasons I love. In Fatherhood (Parenthood), you can see the process on a lower level. I have 3 kids, and each one is different. They respond differently to punishments, love, and fun. I cannot (even though I do sometimes) use the same reasoning on each one. One of my children obeys very well, one does not, and one sort of does. Like how each one of us will be “will be judged according to our works, according to the desire of our hearts “[D&C 137:7–9].

What is your take on this?

  1. Son Of Perdition - Wikipedia ↩
  2. Kingdoms of Glory (Additional Info) - Gospel Topics ↩
  3. Son of Perdition - Wikipedia ↩
  4. King Follett Discourse Part 2 ↩

May

25

Dedicating Our Home

Filed Under Dedication, Gospel, Official LDS | 3 Comments

Recently, it seems my mind has been opened, and I’ve felt new needs. Today was no exception. We got on the topic of dedicating our homes.

I quickly picked up on that and it occurred to me, that even though we’d been in our home for nearly 2 years I don’t think it’s ever been dedicated. It may have been blessed by my wife’s father, but I had not taken up the yoke of my Priesthood responsibility to do so. Like I said, recently things have changed for me, call it a spiritual awakening, or a spiritual maturity - either way I feel very strongly that our home needs a change.

I love it [The Gospel], and let me put it in context of why I’m saying it right now. Our home has some issues - I mean that in our family. There’s something missing, and I think it goes along with how we treat each other and, well, the lack of family unity we experience occasionally. If I notice this, then I know my wife’s felt it a lot longer. But I believe this is why I picked up on the idea of dedicating our home so quickly. I knew I wanted to do it and I felt like it would actually be a great topic to write about too.

So I do what I always do when I want to talk about something, I visit lds.org and see what has been written on the subject. I did a simple search, “dedicate our home”.

The dedication of our home brought about a change of heart in our family.1

That was the first line of the first item listed in the return of my search. Could it be any more connected, or in tune? I know that was a long way round in explaining one of the reasons I love the Gospel, but I just wanted to express it.

I’m actually glad that I ran across this article. It sums up exactly how I feel about what a home should be. The couple who wrote the article give a perfect example (which is one of my reasons too.)

We wanted to have the Spirit of God dwell in our home to help us shape the lives of our daughters.2

Of course for us, it’s not all daughters but sons and daughter and so the level of craziness can get high pretty fast. But this is something I want my family to have. I want a sanctuary, a “sacred edifice where the Holy Spirit may reside” 3.

The couple who wrote the article weren’t aware that you could dedicate your home. I feel that if we [men] take up the call and magnify our Priesthood that this is just one more piece to having a more spiritual family, and bringing our families closer to Christ. Not to mention all the side effects this can have that we might not even think of.

We discussed as a family that my wife and I thought it to be a great idea and something that we needed to do to help our family. We also explained that we would take the opportunity to straighten the house and perform it in the morning. I’m rather excited to be able to share my faith and testimony with my children so they can see how personal the Priesthood can be and how it can be applied to their lives. As my boys grow and gain the Priesthood themselves I want them to know how to magnify it, and my daughter should expect her spouse to be an active magnifier (is that a word?).

I’ll take just a quick moment to express my testimony that the strength of a family spiritually is so important in these days, to be a stronghold against the coming storms. It’s so important to keep active in building up the family and dedicate it [the family] to the Lord, so that His strength and Spirit is an active part of it.

  1. Bless This House - Ensign 1989 ↩
  2. Bless This House - Ensign 1989 ↩
  3. Melchizedek Priesthood Handbook ↩

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